masturbating

What you were probably doing a few moments ago.

Joe: Whatcha doing?
Jimmy: Masturbating.
Joe: Cool, me too.

by Chuck Norris' son February 7, 2009

Masturbating Monkey

When a monkey in the forest or at the zoo get's a erection and grabs his penis and starts to jack off like a car piston and starts shooting sperm all over the place, then he goes "HOOO OHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH HOO HO HOO!!!!" when the male monkey starts to think oh the female monkeys. and sperm starts to land on you and you child.

Child: mommy, WTF IS THAT BLACK MONKEY DOING?!?
Mom: Don't be racist!!! He's just a masturbating monkey

Doctor: hey Steve, that monkey seems to be masturbating?
Steve: I think he is, we should test his heart rate to make sure it's safe for the masturbating monkey.
Steve: ok... WHAT?! IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!

by theaveragejoe33 October 27, 2010

Macturbating

Noun: The act of pleasuring oneself through the use of an Apple Product.

Steve got an iPhone5 for his birthday and has been macturbating all weekend

by Madhav4 September 14, 2012

Masturbating Muscle

The muscle you develop between your forearm and bicep on the arm of the hand you masturbate with.

John: Hey broski, wanna hang tonight?

Joe: Ehh... I dunno, I was really gonna work on toning my masturbating muscle tonight.

John: Oh.. I getcha, I worked on it last night.

by aaronthejoo May 11, 2011

mathterbating

Doing math for fun, enjoyment, entertainment and/or to pleasure ones self.

Dude1: Hey! whats that nerd over there doing with that calculator?
Dude2: Probably mathterbating
Dude1: Dude! sick he could at least go to the bathroom to do dat
Dude2: Gotta do what you gotta do

by SeakingFuckYeah! March 4, 2008

Masturbating Sally

Sexual gratification derived from watching a female masturbate with a lisp.

"Do you like it when I touch my puthy?"
"You're such a Masturbating Sally"

by Ron Raper January 30, 2017

Materbation

Masturbating to only images of Mater from cars

Keith Scott enjoys Materbation

by Welchmas December 7, 2020