masturbating

What you were probably doing a few moments ago.

Joe: Whatcha doing?
Jimmy: Masturbating.
Joe: Cool, me too.

by Chuck Norris' son February 7, 2009

Masturbating Monkey

When a monkey in the forest or at the zoo get's a erection and grabs his penis and starts to jack off like a car piston and starts shooting sperm all over the place, then he goes "HOOO OHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH HOO HO HOO!!!!" when the male monkey starts to think oh the female monkeys. and sperm starts to land on you and you child.

Child: mommy, WTF IS THAT BLACK MONKEY DOING?!?
Mom: Don't be racist!!! He's just a masturbating monkey

Doctor: hey Steve, that monkey seems to be masturbating?
Steve: I think he is, we should test his heart rate to make sure it's safe for the masturbating monkey.
Steve: ok... WHAT?! IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!

by theaveragejoe33 October 27, 2010

Masturbating Muscle

The muscle you develop between your forearm and bicep on the arm of the hand you masturbate with.

John: Hey broski, wanna hang tonight?

Joe: Ehh... I dunno, I was really gonna work on toning my masturbating muscle tonight.

John: Oh.. I getcha, I worked on it last night.

by aaronthejoo May 11, 2011

masturhating

The equivalent of a cock block, but when it happens during solo masturbation. Someone knocking on the door while a man is jacking off inside would be masturhating.

Jon: So what'd you do yesterday man?
Alex: I was bored as shit so I was just jacking off until my brother knocked on the door. Totally masturhating.

by Admiral_A1 July 7, 2010

Masturbating Sally

Sexual gratification derived from watching a female masturbate with a lisp.

"Do you like it when I touch my puthy?"
"You're such a Masturbating Sally"

by Ron Raper January 30, 2017

Masterwaiting

The time spent wait for porn to buffer. The time that one spends waiting until the selected material is buffered and ready for viewing; at which point one can proceed with pleasuring one self.

I got home and due to my slow connection speed I had to masterwaiting until I could watch my girl Ava Addams and finish myself enjoyment.

by Markie Markie July 11, 2017

masticating

chewing. can also be a joke when u ask someone if they masticate

its so annoying when she is masticating

by phantom negromante May 29, 2019