fudge mallet

The act of defecating into a sock and utilising said tool as a weapon.

Sweet mother of Jesus, Sally totally gave me the fudge mallet last night!

by Bawbag Johnson June 15, 2018

junk mallet

The act of injuring your genitals in order to avoid fucking an ugly person

I had to pull out the junk mallet before I took that butter face back to my house .

by Caulkknocker March 7, 2019

Maryland Crab Mallet

When your significant other is on her menstrual cycle, you turn her sideways and make a fist. You slide 4 fingers in her love tunnel and jam your thumb in her anus. You bring her to orgasm and your hand looks like it’s covered in Old Bay and crab mustard when you pull it out.

She was on her period and I wanted crabs, so I gave her the Maryland Crab Mallet.

by LowMansLyric469 June 5, 2023

MALLETICIAN

A person from any walk of life who is gripped by sudden insatiable urges to pound the ground with a wooden, rubber, copper or rawhide mallet. They can sometimes be seen by the side of the road banging away frantically. If you think any of your friends may be a malletician, try checking under their car seat for some kind of mallet.

Found this 'Thor' mallet in Millie's make-up bag. i'm worried she might be a bit of a malletician....

by Chuckeroon October 30, 2003

Gettin' Me Mallet

When you hype up a dance circle but leave before it starts

This dance circle is amazing - I can't believe Connor was gettin' me mallet!

by MyDensity August 24, 2019

timmy mallet

a crazy mother fucker

ignore him, he's a timmy mallet

by tipsy March 10, 2004

bondage mallet

1)A mallet, or other hammer-like object used to inflict pain upon a willing BDSM participant.

2)Critical phrase used in the world-wide chart-topping song "Hit Me With Your Bondage Mallet". (It's nice to be a lunatic, hit me, hit me.)

A - Hit me with your bondage mallet?

B - Yup

by The Seventh Si December 29, 2004