The dirty Mitch

When you spin around with your pants off until you throw up then you vomit onto your erect penis and hand and use it as a lubricant and jack yourself off

Guy 1: hey what did you do by your self last night
Guy 2: I played call of duty, watched porn for four hours and pulled the dirty mitch
Guy 1: sick

by MItch111166699 September 27, 2011

Mitch Hedberg

Seeing Mitch perform live (about a year before he died) was the best moment of my life. All of you are right: He's the funniest person that ever lived, and the world is much less funny without him.

Mitch Hedberg -isms:

"Escalators are good, cuz they can never break. They just become stairs."

"I find that a duck's opinion of me is heavily influenced by whether or not I have bread."

"I saw a human pyramid once. It was so unnecessary."

"I wish there was such a thing as cinnamon roll incense, because I would light some up in the morning and give my roommate false hope."

by Her Royal Hard A** October 26, 2006

Wet match in a dark room

Someone who is so incredibly stupid that only an obscure analogy could describe their low level IQ. Just as a wet match in a dark room is the antithesis of light, an incredibly stupid person is the antithesis of an intellectual.

" Did you hear about that guy that played Russian roulette with a semi-automatic pistol?"

"Yeah, that dude was a wet match in a dark room. What a fucking moron."

by armyowalgreens April 25, 2010

Mix and match weapon

A weapon that is a mashup of normal weapons.

Quite possibly the best mix and match weapon is The Dual-Wield Chainsaw Shotgun Laser Earrings with detachable missile launchers and drink dispensers.

by Someone404 March 10, 2020

Mitch McConnell

1.) A spineless turtle, very rare in reptiles.

2.) Another term for a hypocritical motherfucking piece of shit.

1.) The Mitch McConnell hid in his shell.

2.) Reverend Tom is being such a Mitch McConnell by preaching family values while cheating on his wife.

by Patriotic Leftie March 6, 2021

Mitch Hedberg

The best comedian who ever lived. He sadly died at a young age due to a continuous heart problem. Give respect people, and quote whenever necessary.

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up!

by Smitty Joe May 29, 2005

Mitch McConnell

Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY)

McConnell is the leader of the party of NO! in the senate.

He is a typical southern G.O.P. senator who opposes anything that he perceives as "progressive" and strongly
opposes anything democrats bring up for a vote.

He is popular among Obama Haters for his strong opposition to President Obama's healthcare reform plans.

Mitch McConnell said in an interview he would do whatever

he could to defeat Obama's healthcare reform. He works

with his House counterpart John Boehner to obstruct

Obama's plans to solve America's problems.

by Charles_U_Farley May 24, 2010