Jerking off with the non-dominant hand

V. To engage in the sexual act of "jerking off" with the hand that was not intended, by God, for that purpose.

Linked in case studies to the acquisition of carpal tunnel by exposing your "wanker" to odd angles of hand movement.

See also: Awkward masturbation techniques.
See also: The ouewwwwww face.

Andrew, upon getting home from school Wednesday, attempted to shag his dog with his left hand, which he had never used before. Having missed out on years of practiced stroking, the left hand was inconsistent, uncooperative, and altogether an awkward and unfortunate choice. Andrew has decided that there will be no more jerking off with the non-dominant hand ever again.

by Gee Twat December 30, 2009

Jerking off stalefish

When someone constricts the circulation of blood to the hand until it goes numb, then masturbates with it, thereby giving the feeling of another person.

Dude, why are you sitting on your hand? You trying to jerk off stalefish?

by Valo January 1, 2005

jerking off a whole assing horse

u take the pp of horse and suck it.

jerking off a whole assing horse is fun. i do it in my spare time.

by unteched March 20, 2021

jerking off the wall

The act of painting a wall white

Devin was jerking off the wall all day to change it's color

by Southslice October 6, 2013

jerking off butterfly's

Being completely and absolutely useless when a group of people are trying to accomplice a task.

Guy 1: (nailing down boards on a new deck)

Guy 2: (siting there watching)

Guy 1: What the fuck are you doing, stop jerking off butterfly's and come help me with this board.

by bbenoit November 5, 2010

Jerking off stalefish

without lubrication, just raw.

I was jerking off stalefish and my dick got raw.

by Fredwasright October 10, 2005

Jerking-Off Pumped

When something is so exciting, so completely enthralling that you are nearly dying of the anticipation. In fact, the excitement is so great that it is equivalent to the feeling of jerking off. As such, you are completely pumped by the idea of doing something on par with masturbating.

Bill-"Wait, we're killing a 30 case right after the concert featuring our favorite band of all time!?"

Frank-"Hell yeah man get excited!"

Bill-"That's gonna be the best day ever! I'm Jerking-Off Pumped about the whole situation!"

Frank-"You read my mind!"

by mythicaldancer April 7, 2011