The official term is docuphilia, used to describe a person who is sexual aroused by legal terms and their associated pleonasms. Docuphiliacs or jargon jerkers are known to deviously hoard credit card contracts, legal disclaimers, copyright notices, government signs, and other legal documents, forms & contracts for subsequent and sometimes daily arousal. Docuphilia is a rare disorder having no allegiance to occupation, race, sex, gender, political orientation or creed. (It is a common misconception that most lawyers are docuphiliacs and vice versa.) There is no way to determine whom is a docuphiliac besides recognizing the following symptoms:
i . Excessive maundering and confusion while in the presence of “desirable” legal documents.
ii. Meager but frequent attempts to view a legal document in solitude. WARNING: Agitated docuphiliacs may resort to violence to obtain a desirable document. The docuphiliac may use occupational related excuses in order to achieve this. (Example: I'd better bring this to the boss/I'll read this over for you.) Veteran docuphiliacs express no shame in these blatant attempts. Upon his/her untimely return the docuphiliac will honor the terms of the excuse but often very poorly. Beware.
iii. An excessive collection of framed legal documents and other nicely worded texts throughout the docuphiliacs office.
iv. Hours of satisfaction in fantasizing about word cells to generate new words.
v. Meticulous aversion to informal slang. Which is deemed “undesirable” and “unattractive” by docuphiliacs. (Not necessarily because of it’s improperness.)
One may hear "YES!" "OH YEAH!" "DAMN!" etc orgasmicly exclaimed from your company's paper recycling center or Xerox room if a co-worker is a jargon jerker. Where docuphiliacs are known to search for documents out of desperation.
Until recently docuphiliacs acted individually solely for their own personal leisure, however the docuphilial elite have orchestrated a number of seemingly unrelated lawsuits to induce the literate population into this esoteric disorder. The lawsuits’ modus operandi includes suing large corporations for very frivolous purposes including: becoming obese after eating their food, getting burned after spilling coffee on themselves, etc. The single motive of these lawsuits of course is to force the company to include a legal disclaimer on their product.
If the docuphiliacs continue to proliferate and broaden their beliefs everything ever written will be in legal terms and in their eyes, the docuphiliacs will conquer the world.
A growing number of conspiracies maintain that the government is aware of the docuphilial elite and their sinister motives. They claim, that the government is attempting to crush the movement it by stalling FOIA requests, censoring desirable documents and lessening public involvement with legislation.
DISCLAIMER: You (the reader) agree that by asserting this transmission as true; you fully and willingly acknowledge that you are: 1) A total moron. In rare instances (Example: Cigarette warnings, pharmaceutical warnings, etc.) legal disclaimers are necessary to protect the population from serfdom. To distinguish docuphilial legislation/lawsuits from a necessary one ask yourself: Does this label caution one of true hazards or simply demonstrate how foolish one can be?
i . Excessive maundering and confusion while in the presence of “desirable” legal documents.
ii. Meager but frequent attempts to view a legal document in solitude. WARNING: Agitated docuphiliacs may resort to violence to obtain a desirable document. The docuphiliac may use occupational related excuses in order to achieve this. (Example: I'd better bring this to the boss/I'll read this over for you.) Veteran docuphiliacs express no shame in these blatant attempts. Upon his/her untimely return the docuphiliac will honor the terms of the excuse but often very poorly. Beware.
iii. An excessive collection of framed legal documents and other nicely worded texts throughout the docuphiliacs office.
iv. Hours of satisfaction in fantasizing about word cells to generate new words.
v. Meticulous aversion to informal slang. Which is deemed “undesirable” and “unattractive” by docuphiliacs. (Not necessarily because of it’s improperness.)
One may hear "YES!" "OH YEAH!" "DAMN!" etc orgasmicly exclaimed from your company's paper recycling center or Xerox room if a co-worker is a jargon jerker. Where docuphiliacs are known to search for documents out of desperation.
Until recently docuphiliacs acted individually solely for their own personal leisure, however the docuphilial elite have orchestrated a number of seemingly unrelated lawsuits to induce the literate population into this esoteric disorder. The lawsuits’ modus operandi includes suing large corporations for very frivolous purposes including: becoming obese after eating their food, getting burned after spilling coffee on themselves, etc. The single motive of these lawsuits of course is to force the company to include a legal disclaimer on their product.
If the docuphiliacs continue to proliferate and broaden their beliefs everything ever written will be in legal terms and in their eyes, the docuphiliacs will conquer the world.
A growing number of conspiracies maintain that the government is aware of the docuphilial elite and their sinister motives. They claim, that the government is attempting to crush the movement it by stalling FOIA requests, censoring desirable documents and lessening public involvement with legislation.
DISCLAIMER: You (the reader) agree that by asserting this transmission as true; you fully and willingly acknowledge that you are: 1) A total moron. In rare instances (Example: Cigarette warnings, pharmaceutical warnings, etc.) legal disclaimers are necessary to protect the population from serfdom. To distinguish docuphilial legislation/lawsuits from a necessary one ask yourself: Does this label caution one of true hazards or simply demonstrate how foolish one can be?
i. Philip: "Why was there cum dripping from my credit card contract?"
Bob: "Larry stopped by earlier, he's a total jargon jerker."
ii. Mr. Ruff: "What?! What kind of idiot wouldn't know that coffee is hot?!" *Hmm this disclaimer turns me on...ouch!*
Docuphilial Elitist: *Smirks*
Bob: "Larry stopped by earlier, he's a total jargon jerker."
ii. Mr. Ruff: "What?! What kind of idiot wouldn't know that coffee is hot?!" *Hmm this disclaimer turns me on...ouch!*
Docuphilial Elitist: *Smirks*
by The Affiliate January 12, 2005
Get the jargon jerker mug.An alien sex organ. Comes from the episode of South Park when they discover that Earth is just a reality TV show.
by Stevio G. September 27, 2004
Get the jagon mug.Elder demon of tech support. Summoned on command to confuse and/or impress customers and/or women.
Level:49
Type:Fire
Level:49
Type:Fire
1. Use technical terms and Jargon to impress the customer.
2. Use black magic and Jargon to harvest the customer's soul.
2. Use black magic and Jargon to harvest the customer's soul.
by Jargon!! April 21, 2010
Get the Jargon mug.1 a person who uses jargon in every-day conversation.
2 a person adept in the navigation of heavily jargon filled literature.
2 a person adept in the navigation of heavily jargon filled literature.
A jargonaut might say: she/he is the NCO @ the HPY in charge of DCH and MBS processing on a RTS basis in accordance with DCHMBSP.
by Divado January 14, 2008
Get the jargonaut mug.by mdudely November 15, 2009
Get the jaego mug.Jaegen- A negative term for a number of things.
1. A person that goes to parties, tries to start fights, eats ALL the food and cheats in games.
2. A loud, gobby, tanned natrually pretty young girl that wears too much make-up and feels it neccisarry to over exagerate things.
3. Someone who visits ethnic countries on a regular basis just to catch a tan and buy cigarettes.
4. Someone who acts stupid when they're really quite smart.
The majority of the time it's not a good thing to be a Jaegen.
1. A person that goes to parties, tries to start fights, eats ALL the food and cheats in games.
2. A loud, gobby, tanned natrually pretty young girl that wears too much make-up and feels it neccisarry to over exagerate things.
3. Someone who visits ethnic countries on a regular basis just to catch a tan and buy cigarettes.
4. Someone who acts stupid when they're really quite smart.
The majority of the time it's not a good thing to be a Jaegen.
1. (At a party) *Guy1/Jaegen eats whole 24 pack of crisps then punches a dwarf in the tit and denies being found in hide and seek*
Guy2- That guys such a Jaegen.
2. Guy1 - Hey have you met my new girlfriend Ellie?
Ellie/Jaegen - MERMERMERPMERPMERP.
Guy2 - Dude she seems like a Jaegen to me....
3. Girl1 - WOW what was India like, you're so lucky to be able to visit such a rich cultural country!
Jaegen- Totes, I got like 400 B&H Gold for a tenner bubz.
4. History Teacher - Religion has been found to be one of the leading causes of wars.
Jaegen- WHATS A WAAAR?
Guy2- That guys such a Jaegen.
2. Guy1 - Hey have you met my new girlfriend Ellie?
Ellie/Jaegen - MERMERMERPMERPMERP.
Guy2 - Dude she seems like a Jaegen to me....
3. Girl1 - WOW what was India like, you're so lucky to be able to visit such a rich cultural country!
Jaegen- Totes, I got like 400 B&H Gold for a tenner bubz.
4. History Teacher - Religion has been found to be one of the leading causes of wars.
Jaegen- WHATS A WAAAR?
by Meowsocks January 24, 2011
Get the Jaegen mug.A term that describes a very great smelling guy who has gotten very much action in his life time, particularly from one girl. Or a term used to describe a half white half black boy who has a partial afro.
by VAJAEJAElover March 2, 2009
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