ass handed

when someone gets completely smoked or destroyed, you say they got their asses handed to them.

The Ottawa Senators got their asses handed to them 9-0.

by matt February 5, 2004

One-handed 69

An ancient technique so powerful few have survived. A man grabs a woman with one hand by the ankle upside down. The woman then proceeds to wrap around him twice then eat his ass. While eating his ass the man shits in the woman's throat afterward she proceeds to make out with him. Only 3 people have successfully completed this dangerous maneuver. If completed rumors say that you gain the power of levitation.

-Nathan Elijah Garcia

Dude do the One-handed 69 on her

by Nate_G October 13, 2020

handegg

slang term for american football

p1: "bro did you watch the super bowl yesterday?"
p2: "dude i don't watch handegg"

by ih8footy June 16, 2023

red handed

adj. Derived from the term "bloody-hand", which was one of four kinds of offences in the king's forest, by which the offender is supposed to have killed a deer. In Scotland, in such like crimes they say "Taken in the fact, or with the red hand".
- Thomas Blount's Law Dictionary and Glossary, 1717

In modern times, this term refers to catching someone in the act of doing something they aren't supposed to do.

Hah! I knew it was you stealing the cookies. I caught you red handed!

by Markus Melarkus September 29, 2005

2 Handed Dick Slam

It is as it sounds: a Man (yes, capitalized for this instance as only a true Man can pull off this maneuver) unzips his pants and takes his dick in both hands and slams it down on the table to prove his point. This is only to be used in circumstances where without slamming the cock on the table, the story, argument, etc. would be laughed off otherwise.

At a sales presentation:

"...and that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should invest in my company."

"But it makes no sense!"
(audience grumbles and discontent grows)

"Well maybe this will make my point better"
(presenter drops trou and performs the 2 Handed Dick Slam)

Audience applauds and the Man goes on to riches and fame.

by Hoss42 March 15, 2010

Hansexual

One who is attracted to Han Alexander, but is also heterosexual.

Boy: Hey, you know Han Alexander from Tumblr? She's hella cute.

Girl: Yeah, she's so cute. I'd go lesbian for her!

Boy: You must be Hansexual.

by Xander L Eusebe August 21, 2011

One Hander

A woman with an ass so petite that you can cover most of it in one hand. To be more specific you must be able to clench and hold both cheeks together effortlessly with just one hand. This can only be achieved if the distance between your thumb and middle finger is wider than the apex of both buttocks. This is not possible with asses exceeding 1.0 Hdr

"Dude check out the one hander at the bar"
"Now THAT is a one hander"

by sananman July 23, 2015