Coast Guard

A sea-based branch of the United States military that is jointly operated by the Department of Defense and the Department of Homeland Security. During times of war, they assist the Navy. During times of peace, their general duties include: border patrol, immigration control, environmental protection, search and rescue, and stopping drug trafficking into the Untied States.

Ensign Jones was part of the U.S. Coast Guard.

by Nicolai April 10, 2004

coast guard

The smallest of the five branches of the U.S. military. They are under-funded and under-appreciated, but they are vital to national security. They conduct search & rescue, counterterrorism, customs & immigration enforcement, and environmental law compliance tasks.

The U.S. Coast Guard doesn't get the publicity or credit they deserve.

by J-rad March 15, 2007

rape guard

When you achieve a level of obesity such that your belly completely eclipses your genitalia. In other words when you stand in front of a mirror naked and your penis or vagina is completely hidden from view by your gut. Also known as advanced Dunlap syndrome(your belly dun lapped way over your belt).

Joe: Beware a wild snorlax appears...
John: Oh noes! and she has a level three rape guard!
Joe: Just the logistics of reaching her gens are mind boggling.

by turdnificent December 27, 2012

guarding the bee

The act of performing an utterly meaningless task given to you solely to keep you out of the way. The name comes from an episode of The Simpsons in which Homer, and two others, are tasked with guarding a bee in a jar in the plant's basement while the Nuclear Regulatory Inspector is visiting.

Bernie: Duh, why are we down here?
Homer: Aw, geez. I told you Bernie, guarding the bee!
Bernie: But WHY?!
Homer: Aw, you guys are pathetic. No wonder Smithers made me head bee-guy.

by Astrolounge April 7, 2009

strum guard

a strip of towel wrapped around the wrist of one's "strum"-minging hand, secured by gaffer tape, and is used to "guard" against abrasions when playing guitar. invented by joe strummer (born: john graham mellor) due to his furious playing style.

joe strummer never plays his telecaster without his strum guard.

by normers January 12, 2006

Nard Guard

A small foam pad with Velcro straps used to cover the sharp steering stem of a BMX bicycle, thus hopefully preventing ball-busting injury in the event of a crash. Popularized in the 1980's, they have fallen out of favor in more recent years secondary to the fact that they are not considered cool, and they don't really work anyway.

Hey dude...that's a rockin' nard guard you got there. Now all you need are some elbow pads and training wheels and you'll be ready for Pee Wee's Playhouse!

by chaz360 October 3, 2010

strife-guard

To help others who are having difficulty in a situation you are familiar with.

John, having been in a similar situation when he was a child, decided to strife-guard the boy who was too afraid to go down the slide.

by jmb0225 August 27, 2009