a very funny joke:
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this Will
make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of "k".This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a Deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
Kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl
riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find
it ezi tu understand ech oza.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this Will
make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of "k".This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a Deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
Kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl
riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find
it ezi tu understand ech oza.
by mattyatty July 18, 2005
Get the eu english mug.A GCSE (General Certificate of Education) that you can take in school. You will study a play and a book that your teacher will do his/her best to ruin by a.) forcing you to embarrassingly read them out loud in class, and b.) forcing you to over-analyze them whilst ignoring their immediate, aesthetic value.
But this is not always the case. If you are doing the foundation level (like I did) you will be thought of as too much of a retard to be able to read. Instead you will watch some pretentious film adaptation on an old TV not worthy to be shot at by a drugged-up Elvis Presley.
Either way, you will come away with an extremely negative view of classical literature. However, you may be lucky enough to rediscover it in later life and enjoy it properly.
But this is not always the case. If you are doing the foundation level (like I did) you will be thought of as too much of a retard to be able to read. Instead you will watch some pretentious film adaptation on an old TV not worthy to be shot at by a drugged-up Elvis Presley.
Either way, you will come away with an extremely negative view of classical literature. However, you may be lucky enough to rediscover it in later life and enjoy it properly.
GCSE English Literature Teacher: "So what can we see in Jessica's defiance of her father that is reminiscent of a 20th centry movement that has changed so much?"
Student: "Fascism?"
Student: "Fascism?"
by TrystanDeCunta October 3, 2008
Get the GCSE English Literature mug.Related Words
Incorrect or awkwardly structured English, usually spoken or written by non-native speakers.
Not necessarily pejorative.
Not necessarily pejorative.
by schmeggyboo January 17, 2008
Get the broken english mug.by 345ijij4ijsoosososo December 14, 2009
Get the Me no speak English mug.A (wo)man from England who breaks your heart. A jerk, douchebag, mofo from England.
Originally used by Fingal.
Originally used by Fingal.
by Fingal O'Flaherty November 8, 2011
Get the Englishit mug.A pretty fucking awesome sketch comedy group based in New York.
Members include:
Adam Conover(blond curly hair and somewhat stocky)
Ben Popik(group founder, somewhat curly short black hair)
Caleb Bark(has either an afro or shaved head and beard of somewhat blond hair)
David Segal(short black hair, beard and usually wearing purple)
Raphael "Raizin" Bob-Waksberg( short curly hair and stubble)
Past members include:
Jesse
Hana
Adam
Jon
They have released some pretty awesome vids, including "I hate nature" and "breakfast at tiffany's"
Members include:
Adam Conover(blond curly hair and somewhat stocky)
Ben Popik(group founder, somewhat curly short black hair)
Caleb Bark(has either an afro or shaved head and beard of somewhat blond hair)
David Segal(short black hair, beard and usually wearing purple)
Raphael "Raizin" Bob-Waksberg( short curly hair and stubble)
Past members include:
Jesse
Hana
Adam
Jon
They have released some pretty awesome vids, including "I hate nature" and "breakfast at tiffany's"
Olde English Comedy- google that shit!
by MaximumOverdrive March 16, 2009
Get the Olde English Comedy mug.A boring ass class where we do a ton of of essays and nothing interesting happens in the fucking class and everybody in the class is scared of the teacher! Yeah the cringy joke making, sweet hearted, softie! Apparently the teacher is a goddamn nightmare! But she isn’t and almost everybody in that class is misbehaving in other classes I have with them but not in this class though. The students say they aren’t scared but they are actually lying
Me: English class is boring AF and everybody is scared of Mrs Campbell and I don’t know why!
Atreyu: Carter nobody’s scared of Mrs Campbell, it’s just 2nd period, everybody’s tired, and it is really early in the morning.
Carter: Yeah sure.
Atreyu: Carter nobody’s scared of Mrs Campbell, it’s just 2nd period, everybody’s tired, and it is really early in the morning.
Carter: Yeah sure.
by QuakeSplash26 May 7, 2020
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