Cland

To relieve one's self.

I need to take a Cland.

by ruulzu4prez June 8, 2003

calendrically challenged

1. unable to remember the number of days in each month.

2. unable to sustain a long-term schedule or plan, due to a lack of stable subjective significance of the passage of time (i.e. zoomers), rather than disinterest in the desired outcome (i.e. slackers).

3. unable to remember appointments, birthdays, the current day of the week, the month or the current year, often experienced with hangover on New Year's day.

4. unable to flip the pages of a calendar.

5. the state of being perpetually anxious regarding all possible future courses of events.

6. believing that the world will end in some prophesied year, e.g. 1000, Y2K, 2012, etc.

7. Confused state wherein the dates comprising "next weekend" cannot be ascertained.

8. frequently absent without leave

You missed they party! Are you a flake or just calendrically challenged?

I'm sorry! The invitation arrived last Monday, so I thought it was NEXT weekend, instead of this one.

by factsmachine01 June 1, 2010

Calendar Friend

The term for a close friend whom you used to hang out with often, but now see only rarely such as at birthday parties for mutual friends and other special social events. Often these encounters are awkward as mutual friends bring you together obligatorially, not voluntarily.

Friend 1: "Have you seen or spoken to Bob at all?"

Friend 2: "No, I haven't. We used to hang all the time, but kind of had a falling out and we don't talk all that much any more. He's just a calendar friend."

by Epinionator September 27, 2010

clandestine violator

An individual thats sneaks around communal showers or crowded dance floors covertly engaging in sexual contact then disappearing before the victim is able to identify them.

Clandestine violator is general term used to describe an individual that engages in any covert touching of unsuspecting victims genitalia.

If the violator checks someone's oil with his/her thumb while in a communal shower they become a rusty ninja.

Guy 1: I can't get any action tonight!

Guy 2: Go become a clandestine violator for a half hour or so, then you'll have something to think about while you jerk-off later.

Dude 1: Some clandestine violator just grabbed my junk!

Dude 2: That's the closest you've ever come to getting laid.

Guy 1: I kind of liked it, so I'll pretend it was a girl.

by sandy_x December 9, 2012

Cleide

Like the name, it's someone rare! Someone who is always smiling and laughing! Can bright up a whole room just with her laugh. Is someone funny, caring and very friendly.

Why are you laughing?
Because Cleide is laughing!!

by Fernando Manuel May 18, 2020

clandrex

when a person volunteers to throw a vending machine fight with the president

Someone: yo do you remember the first time we clandrexed as little kids?
Someone2: yea... Good ol' days...
"Everyday is a good day for clandrex" that's what my old man used to say.

by borcalix October 26, 2022

Electronic Calender Phobia (ECP)

Electronic Calender Phobia (ECP) is a syndrome that occurs when older employees at a company resist using calendaring software - insisting on continuing their use of paper planners.

Employee 1: Oh my gosh, why can't Sally just use our calendering system to schedule meetings. She is always calling or emailing me to see if I have availability. "Um, check the electronic calendar"
Employe 2: Oh dude, she has a serious case of Electronic Calender Phobia (ECP) - she may never get rid of her old-school paper planner.

by Stoolie November 25, 2014