A city in central Pennsylvania that once was a nice place to live & raise a family, though now is infested with a scourge of opiates, crack, & blizz. The whole place is crawling with hopeless souls who are so bummed, they use hard drugs to escape the misery of it all. Yet, at the same time, really believe Altoona is the only place that exists. On a lighter note. There are beautiful mountains & lush countryside. It's just 95% of the people are fake & dishonest. They believe that happiness is sinful & that the successful are just something to bitch & complain about. If you go, be sure to visit Sheetz. It's the one shining light of the place & has made it easy for the local population to be the lazy throwaway trash of a society it is. Poor Altoona. Almost everyone there is either a junkie, a snitch, in jail, a drunk, a thief, a liar, a republican, a racist, stupid, or all at the same time, & think that they are great. The place has a cloud of misery stationed over it. Those who think they're above it are actually pretentious downers who suffer from schadenfreude. Charity is an unknown concept & humbleness is seen as being weak. The place is totally backwards & fucked up. Your best bet is to just keep on driving and get the fuck out of there. It's poisonous.
by Truthful5 May 26, 2017
Get the Altoona mug.Altona is where Yard Sales are the only things that bring people to the town. Duct tape is used to fix anything and everything,including houses, cars, even body parts, and it considered ALTONA CHROME. Altona is the town where men are men and so are half of the woman. It is also the town where the fire trucks are older than half of the people that live in the town. There are several burrows of the town. They include Sciota, Irona, Forrest, Flat Rock, and the Ganienken Territory. Don't get caught stealing on the territory cuz they are gunna get you.
"Is that chrome on your car?" "No, that's just Altona Chrome, or duct Tape." Yeah, you are from Altona, NY.
Altona, NY is a town full of CHEEWEES.
Altona, NY is a town full of CHEEWEES.
by Tona man derp a doo August 18, 2011
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by Copyname December 1, 2018
Get the Actioname mug.Once a shining, well run city that resembled Pittsburgh in its glory days of industrialism. Now the bastion of human filth and moral deprivation. College students who aspire to go to Penn State, but do poorly in high school are subjected to this unpleasant city, usually for two years. Altoona's resilient community consists of crack dealers, crack heads, crack fiends, and crack babys. Don't come here.
"Dude, did you here about that gang of serial rapists selling crack to three year-olds in Altoona?"
"Which ones?
"Which ones?
by PopNasty February 28, 2011
Get the Altoona mug.by Briano4 January 3, 2008
Get the Actionanigans mug.A town in central PA. Full of old people and druggies. Not a lot for young people to do other than brawl at the McDonald’s behind AAJHS, go to Sk8-1-4, skate at Galactic, and smoke lots and lots of weed. Other than being known for its trains and history, it’s also known for:
- Sheetz
- Texas Hot Dogs
- Gangster-wannabe’s
- And finally, more white people than black people that use the N-word.
- Sheetz
- Texas Hot Dogs
- Gangster-wannabe’s
- And finally, more white people than black people that use the N-word.
Person 1: Hey, I’m hungry, where do you wanna go to eat?
Person 2: Let’s order an MTO at Sheetz in Altoona!
Person 1: I’d rather snort lettuce than eat another MTO.
Person 2: Let’s order an MTO at Sheetz in Altoona!
Person 1: I’d rather snort lettuce than eat another MTO.
by Guitar_player1202 July 29, 2018
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