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Jesus was a liberal

A saying used by liberals to accentuate the point that Jesus would probably not be a supporter of blood-thirsty killing, genocide, ethnic cleansing, or basic un-Godliness like war and the murdering of civilians.

Considering Jesus was murdered and crucified for his revolutionary beliefs in a time of war and imperialistic arrogance and Jesus' recorded attributes of selfless and righteous behaviors attributed to love and brotherhood, it seems more likely Jesus would not be for any type of political or religious based wars.

Many republicans and conservatives scoff at this saying and begin to utter delusional phrases like, "Jesus would definetely vote Republican" and "Jesus hates Muslims" and "Jesus was a white man".
"Of course Jesus was a liberal. Can you imagine Jesus bashing a black kid's face in with a rock and then hanging him in front of a crowd of smiling white people?"

"No, I guess not."
by Reasoner August 27, 2006
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Bustin' a Sag for Jesus

Any desperate attempt by middle aged Evangelical youth pastors to appear hip in order to reach young Christians. Generally speaking these individuals wear baggy pants, Birkenstocks, goatees, and, on ocassion, may even have piercings. Their hairstyles are typcially what homosexuals wore 10 years ago...They usually ramble on about Generation Y and use the word "awesome" entirely too much.
Hey, Pastor Mike is droppin' some phat beats on the youth group...looks like he's bustin' a sag for Jesus.
by Gary Vitalis February 24, 2007
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Jesus fucked a monkey!

Phrase used when a pub door swings back and nearly dislodges the pyramid of glasses being carried back to table, or when a twat cyclist speeds through a red light at a pedestrian crossing and almost kills you, or practically anytime 'fuckin hell', 'you fuckin twat', or 'shiiiiiiit' simply doesn't cut the mustard.
Used sparingly, it's effective, offensive and infectious.
by TauntonJah November 5, 2019
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jesus on a stick

General heretical statement of amazement, usually as a substitute for an expletive. Refers to the Christian Jesus crucified on a Roman cross.
by Eric August 15, 2003
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jesus vs a black hole

What will decide the end of the universe? The jesus vs a black hole battle.
by wtfersdf September 1, 2006
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Sweet Jesus on a Waffle Cone

normally screamed when you want something. Used by stephen colbert.
'Sweet Jesus on a Waffle Cone, please tell me!!!!!'
by MaximumOverdrive January 20, 2009
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since Jesus was a cowboy

Something that hasn't happened for a long time. Literally, before Jesus got a big promotion to supervision and quit working on the tools.
The Toronto Make Believes haven't won the Stanley Cup since Jesus was a cowboy.
by Telmea Story June 4, 2018
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