Things needed:
-Exacto Knife (get spare blades)
-Minimum 8ft deep pool
-Passport
-Shamwow
-Ticket to Peru
-2 sets of Siamese twins (over the age of 18)
-Shipping Crate
-Snuggie
-Shady Lawyer (a damn good one)
-Mighty Putty (RIP Billy Mays)
- Opiates
- "A"Team Van (that shit has to be exact)
This requires the hand of a surgeon and the heart of Josef Mengele. Your first task is to get the van. DO NOT SKIMP! How else are you going to get around? Swing by Osco to get the Exacto knife and blades. NOT WALGREENS (they rust)! Track down two different sets of siamese twins. They should at least be over 18. Anything less is too easy and would amount to a 59th and 3/4's base, which is not balla enough. Siamese twins can be whatever sexual preference you desire.
They must be tricked into competing in a fictional show where Siamese twins do physical stunts for a cash prize "Monkey On My Back". You will place them in the van. YOU MUST do a minimum of 80 mph the entire time to the secure pool. You will then give the twins flippy-floppys and pool noodles and tell them they must duel to the death in the pool. Whichever two individual ghastly creatures cries out first and or expresses belligerence, those are immediately targeted.
Break out the Exacto knife and dive into the pool. YOU MUST disconnect the twins from each other with the blades within ten minutes. This is why you are going to be glad you have spares because the fuckers will fight and shit will break and fall to the bottom of the pool. The belligerent pieces MUST be mismatched and should drop to the bottom of the pool. Belligerent dying twin may try and scramble to surface, this is why you went for 8 feet, it won't get past 4. Sever the husk and leave the leg appendages for the surviving twin. At this point the Devil may appear. DO NOT PANIC. Shield thine eyes and he should return from whence he came. STAY ON TASK.
It is now a good idea to use some of the opiates. Force them onto the surviving pieces. Once sedated drag them from the pool and dry them with a Shamwow. Then throw the Shawow into the pool. Yes it soaks up everything. Now mighty putty the mismatched twins together. And mate with them. More opiates. Wrap abomination in Snuggie and place in crate. Put crate in van and ship crate to pre-specified location in Peru where lawyer will recieve crate and hook abomination up to life support. Turn self in to police.
YOU MUST make headline news for a minimum of three weeks. Do whatever you can to stay relevant and topical. Profane statements, bowel movements in court proceedings, whatever it takes. DO NOT DIE IN CUSTODY. If all was done correctly and you did not skimp on anything including the lawyer you WILL win your case. The world will want you dead. Flee to "A"Team van again doing 80mph and get directly to airport. Use passport and ticket to Peru.
Your crime of nature should be pregnant and ready to give birth by the time you arrive. Get camera and record birth. Name the foul mess Boo-Boo. Mail recording to every national news station and declare yourself "Overlord of Universe" and that your two headed, four-legged double backed breed, will soon take over the world and that you want the world's supply of Swedish Fish. It is a fact that Siamese twins survive off of Swedish Fish, it is like oxygen to them. YOU MUST breed over 100 of these within 5 years. At this point the world leaders will bow on one knee and beg you to stop. You will be whisked away to an antechamber of the United Nations where you will be presented a golden base that reads "LX" (which is 60 in Roman numerals). You will be given control of all information, currency, and plot the future of the human race until you die when your firstborn Boo-Boo (YOU MUST NAME IT BOO-BOO OR NONE OF THIS WILL WORK) will take over.
Difficulty level comparison- Completing Mario Kart Rainbow Road without falling while blind and deaf and being eaten alive by a lion.
-Exacto Knife (get spare blades)
-Minimum 8ft deep pool
-Passport
-Shamwow
-Ticket to Peru
-2 sets of Siamese twins (over the age of 18)
-Shipping Crate
-Snuggie
-Shady Lawyer (a damn good one)
-Mighty Putty (RIP Billy Mays)
- Opiates
- "A"Team Van (that shit has to be exact)
This requires the hand of a surgeon and the heart of Josef Mengele. Your first task is to get the van. DO NOT SKIMP! How else are you going to get around? Swing by Osco to get the Exacto knife and blades. NOT WALGREENS (they rust)! Track down two different sets of siamese twins. They should at least be over 18. Anything less is too easy and would amount to a 59th and 3/4's base, which is not balla enough. Siamese twins can be whatever sexual preference you desire.
They must be tricked into competing in a fictional show where Siamese twins do physical stunts for a cash prize "Monkey On My Back". You will place them in the van. YOU MUST do a minimum of 80 mph the entire time to the secure pool. You will then give the twins flippy-floppys and pool noodles and tell them they must duel to the death in the pool. Whichever two individual ghastly creatures cries out first and or expresses belligerence, those are immediately targeted.
Break out the Exacto knife and dive into the pool. YOU MUST disconnect the twins from each other with the blades within ten minutes. This is why you are going to be glad you have spares because the fuckers will fight and shit will break and fall to the bottom of the pool. The belligerent pieces MUST be mismatched and should drop to the bottom of the pool. Belligerent dying twin may try and scramble to surface, this is why you went for 8 feet, it won't get past 4. Sever the husk and leave the leg appendages for the surviving twin. At this point the Devil may appear. DO NOT PANIC. Shield thine eyes and he should return from whence he came. STAY ON TASK.
It is now a good idea to use some of the opiates. Force them onto the surviving pieces. Once sedated drag them from the pool and dry them with a Shamwow. Then throw the Shawow into the pool. Yes it soaks up everything. Now mighty putty the mismatched twins together. And mate with them. More opiates. Wrap abomination in Snuggie and place in crate. Put crate in van and ship crate to pre-specified location in Peru where lawyer will recieve crate and hook abomination up to life support. Turn self in to police.
YOU MUST make headline news for a minimum of three weeks. Do whatever you can to stay relevant and topical. Profane statements, bowel movements in court proceedings, whatever it takes. DO NOT DIE IN CUSTODY. If all was done correctly and you did not skimp on anything including the lawyer you WILL win your case. The world will want you dead. Flee to "A"Team van again doing 80mph and get directly to airport. Use passport and ticket to Peru.
Your crime of nature should be pregnant and ready to give birth by the time you arrive. Get camera and record birth. Name the foul mess Boo-Boo. Mail recording to every national news station and declare yourself "Overlord of Universe" and that your two headed, four-legged double backed breed, will soon take over the world and that you want the world's supply of Swedish Fish. It is a fact that Siamese twins survive off of Swedish Fish, it is like oxygen to them. YOU MUST breed over 100 of these within 5 years. At this point the world leaders will bow on one knee and beg you to stop. You will be whisked away to an antechamber of the United Nations where you will be presented a golden base that reads "LX" (which is 60 in Roman numerals). You will be given control of all information, currency, and plot the future of the human race until you die when your firstborn Boo-Boo (YOU MUST NAME IT BOO-BOO OR NONE OF THIS WILL WORK) will take over.
Difficulty level comparison- Completing Mario Kart Rainbow Road without falling while blind and deaf and being eaten alive by a lion.
-"Dude you really need to get some help. What the fuck is this 60th base shit you wrote?"
-"Eh. I was bored."
-"..."
-"What?! Come on that can't happen!!!"
-"Stay away from my family. Do not contact me again."
-"Eh. I was bored."
-"..."
-"What?! Come on that can't happen!!!"
-"Stay away from my family. Do not contact me again."
by malagant462 July 7, 2009
Get the 60th Base mug.by Albert565654 6546 6655 444 55748 April 30, 2006
Get the 10th base mug.Related Words
Second Base
• 3rd Base
• Third Base
• 6th base
• Touch Base
• 1st base
• 5th base
• fifth base
• Sexual Bases
• 7th base
by evoh May 15, 2004
Get the space base mug.M: I heard Gunnar and Kate went to eleventh base last night
S: Oh my gosh, did they survive?
M: I think Gunnar did, but he's lost his legs, and they had to pump 20kilos of Kate out of his stomach.
S: Oh my gosh, did they survive?
M: I think Gunnar did, but he's lost his legs, and they had to pump 20kilos of Kate out of his stomach.
by M&S Anti-Straight Police S&M March 2, 2009
Get the Eleventh Base mug.Dude #1: Dude, I F***ed with my Gardevoir in Emerald!
Dude #2: Dude, that's 29th Base!
Dude #1: I know!
Dude #2: Dude, that's 29th Base!
Dude #1: I know!
by I pwn u all July 7, 2010
Get the 29th Base mug.Community Service Base. A holiday camp for criminals who are rewarded for actions such as beating someone up with a shovel or selling cocaine. The CS Base consists of an art room, a workshop, a DVD room and a CS yard where the participants are allowed to play around with paint and machinery like a nursery classroom. The CS Van commonly runs free days out to cut grass and stand around smoking weed.
Ned: I'm off to do my unpaid work order at the CS Base.
Taxpayer: I get paid £9 per hour for my work.
Ned: I get £80 a week from the dole and only do 6 hours of CS a week so I actually get £13.33 an hour tax-free for my unpaid work.
Taxpayer: I get paid £9 per hour for my work.
Ned: I get £80 a week from the dole and only do 6 hours of CS a week so I actually get £13.33 an hour tax-free for my unpaid work.
by binmunbruce August 30, 2019
Get the CS Base mug.The end all be all of bases. First you round up every great conqueror in history: Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Genghis Khan, etc etc Then you proceed to challenge them all to a deathmatch. But the thing is you're Jack Bauer. So instead you torture them for information on the next terrorist attack in Los Angeles and then proceed to rape them in the bunghole. Afterwhich you deficate/vomit/ejaculate/all 3 at once on each of their chests. Next you roll them all around in the gooey mess and again ask them what they know about the terrorist attack. When they fess up, you all do the mexican hat dance and circlejerk into a big sombrero. Just for kicks, you make all the historical figures drink whats in that sombrero. When its all said and done you send them back to their own time but not after making them admit that they are your little bitch. Jack Bauer never lets the terrorists win.
Guy 1: I just got to 36th base last night.
Guy 2: That's not even possible.
Guy 1: Yes it is you little bitch. Now tell me where the nukes are or its the mexican hat dance for you.
Guy 2: That's not even possible.
Guy 1: Yes it is you little bitch. Now tell me where the nukes are or its the mexican hat dance for you.
by Jack Bauer Made Me Admit To Being A Terrorist June 19, 2008
Get the 36th base mug.