handjob

The least satisfying sexual activity possible, on both ends.

1. "Ugh... I hate giving my boyfriend handjobs. They're tedious, they take forever, and I never know what to do with the rest of my body during it. It just feels so... obligatory..."

2. "Ugh... I hate it when my girlfriend gives me handjobs. She does them terribly, she seems bored, and frankly... I can do that myself."

by someguywithajob September 9, 2011

inverted handjob

When a man does a handstand while a woman gives him a handjob

John removed his trousers and did a handstand. Lisel gave him a handjob. Thus, an inverted handjob was performed at a high level of expertise.

by INVERTEDHJ4LIFE May 25, 2006

russian handjob

when a girl jerks you off and finishes off on her tits.

Olga gave me a russian handjob at the new place last night, it would have been better if she had bigger tits.

by big eazzzy May 22, 2008

Russian Handjob

A handjob in which the giver's hand is of sub-acceptable temperature. Most often experienced in cold weather or in geographical locations north of the 45th paralell. Originated in the Soviet Union.

Person 1: "wasn't it cold?"
Person 2: "Yeah, Nikita unbuttoned my snow pants and gave me a freezing Russian Handjob"
Person 1: "Damn, I'm glad I don't live in Siberia"

by Ucross1101 December 4, 2010

homeless handjob

When a homeless person moves his hands up and down a penis, giving a man sexual pleasure for money. Usually for money to buy cocaine.

I got a homeless handjob this morning!

by Whore that is free February 28, 2009

malaysian handjob

When you take a feather and shove it up your nose to sneeze and get snot and boogers all over, then you rub said snot and boogers all over your dick, then the person giving the hangjob uses that as lube: thus the malaysian hanjob. They be too poor for lube.

Dude i've been sick so my girl gave me a malaysian handjob

by p00nsailor November 22, 2014

handjob

When a person, preferably a female, rubs a man's dick until he cums.

What us middle schoolers did because we couldn't give blowjobs yet.

Mindy gave Tom The Look and started to undo his pants. She gripped his shaft and balls, slowly dragging them out of his boxers and proceeded to give him the best handjob of his life.

Sara reached over Ashley and started massaging Kean's dick with her hands right underneath the bus driver's nose.

by Sexy Stripper Queen March 27, 2017