Coffee Simp

Someone who knows the true secret to life long happiness is coffee, the truest love of them all.

Rio is the worlds biggest coffee simp. Luckily, she knows how to turn it on first thing every morning to get the day started off right.

by Handy_manny69 December 23, 2020

Miserable Coffee

A cup of coffee, usually Maxwell House, that is drunk in a miserable; sad and depressing, cold situation, to either make the situation either less or even more miserable.

Ugh, what a morning, I'm gonna go get another cup of miserable coffee.

by T405ED March 9, 2009

Canadian coffee

Black coffee sweetened with maple syrup.

Hey Jim, how do you take your coffee?

Jim: Do you have any maple syrup? I feel like a Canadian coffee today.

by AllIwantForChristmasIsAhippo December 25, 2009

Adjusted Coffee

A coffee that has one or more shots of an alcoholic spirit stirred through.

Tea or coffee?

Adjusted coffee would be great.

by StreetyAus September 8, 2010

Weaponized Caffeine

Any amazing energy drink that attacks your body, bringing you from zero to sixty instantly!

That stuff was weaponized caffeine!

No, there was no gradual build up of energy, there was nothing, and then there was everything! I was twitching, insane almost, desperate to do anything and everything at once. Raid MC, knit a pair of socks, learn three foreign languages at the same time, watch all of Firefly, chat with friends, write a letter to dear grandmama, study calculus, program my own dungeon, and then I crashed.

It was like hitting a brick wall while rolling down a hill in a garbage can. There was too much energy, and then none at all. Uncontrolled explosions in my system followed by an oxygen vent to finally put them out, and the crew dying a fast and miserable death.

by Thorgeous January 6, 2012

Nuclear Coffee

Another term for leftover coffee - especially really good coffee. When you have too much cold coffee to dump out before starting another pot so you nuke it a cup at a time in the microwave. This is different than re-warming a cup you allowed to get cold. Incentives are high if you buy really good coffee and happens most frequently in the morning or late afternoon.

"Okay, there's plenty of nuclear coffee in the pot. It's good stuff and you can microwave it, so don't dump it out and make a new pot. I don't give a rat's ass if you're a coffee snob. it's to good and I paid to much for it to dump out."

by Da Chetster March 25, 2013

range coffee

Range Coffee is like College Coffee, but without the cocaine.

I had some of your range coffee last night and everybody at work is staring at me right now.

by lastname first July 5, 2014