Beard blindness

A disorder in which one is unable to recognize a beard on anyone other but their significant other. A phenomenon that is sweeping the nation at a rapid pace, and affects one's ability to judge one's facial characteristics. Research has been on going and funding is needed. Please support it if you can.

"What the hell, Connor has a beard, I've never noticed."
"Damn you must have Beard blindness."

by meep12345678910 October 17, 2019

beard blind

the inability to see or recall if a man or woman has facial hair, including if it changes over time. not to be confused with beard blinders; the use of one's hands to part excessive facial or other hair. Ex "his beard was so copious she had to use beard blinders to kiss him

Beard blind in the witness made the garden gnome bank robbers hard to finger

by odiepeyote February 25, 2017

Phoenician Blind

When you walk out of an air conditioned building in Phoenix, Az, in the summer and the heat hits you so hard you LITERALLY can not see for a moment.

No joke, walked out of the 19th Hole, and went Phoenician Blind...110 in the shade!

by CaptMcSwagger June 9, 2014

League Blind

When someone is oblivious to the “attractiveness league” of which they belong, constantly punching above their weight, remaining single forever and never learning to adjust and lower their standards slightly in order to obtain a suitable partner.

John thinks he deserves a super model half his age even though he’s fat, bald and middle aged. No wonder he’s been single forever, he’s league blind. He’s off to Thailand again next month.

by MonkeyMagicMan75 August 29, 2021

cell blind

Obliviousness when walking or otherwise in motion while simultaneously playing with or peering at a hand-held gadget. Often a public nuisance, as when slow, erratic, or careless movement impedes or leads to collision with others; sometimes also dangerous to the cell blind themselves, as when crossing a busy street without looking because engrossed in texting, IM-ing, or similarly urgent activities.

See: cell blindness (n.), cell-blind (v., adv.), and cell-blindly (adv.)

Darwin Award nominees include a cell blind woman who fell through an open manhole cover.

by notdogen January 24, 2011

Thing Blindness

Used when you are looking for some THING that you know is RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU but you can't find it or see it.

Husband: Honey, do you know where my keys are?

Wife: Yes dear, they're on the counter right in front of you.

Husband: I must be suffering from Thing Blindness

by who da hell cares? April 22, 2010

Ass Blindness

When looking at an ass but your sole attention is on it that you fail to notice surrounding things such as the owners face or ect.

*Can be shortened to ass blind

David was caught in ass blindness as he didn't notice his friends were in the background.
When Jamal saw the girls face after being in a state of ass blindness he quickly scrolled away from her instagram feed.

by Axel432 December 16, 2014