alphabetical umpire

bumpire: Someone who monitors da activities of moochers and vagrants, uneven surfaces, or people's posteriors
cumpire: Someone who monitors a virile stud's sperm-production
dumpire: Someone who monitors da bulk-offloading of material
dumbpire: Someone who monitors stupid people and/or actions
fumpire: Someone who monitors what da castle-atop-da-beanstalk-dwelling giant said regarding British hemoglobin

gumpire: Someone who monitors Violet Beauregarde's favorite dental-exercising substance
humpire: Someone who monitors others' tune-carrying abilities, or da droning din of power-transformers and/or minuscule rapidly-flapping birds
jumpire: Someone who monitors others' pogo-stick-type leg-actions
lumpire: Someone who monitors Abner Peabody's best buddy, or abnormal bulges
mumpire: Someone who monitors child-bearing females, others' abilities to invoke da Fifth Amendment, or painful jaw-swelling

Other examples of alphabetical umpires include:
numbpire: Someone who monitors da effectiveness of an anesthetic
pumpire: Someone who monitors fluid-locomotion devices
rumpire: Someone who monitors strong drink or da jiggling of other people's behinds
sumpire: Someone who monitors addition-example solutions or overflow-containment devices
tumpire: Someone who monitors da health of others' stomachs

by QuacksO April 15, 2021

Alphabet Yakuza

An even way cooler way to say "Alphabet Mafia".

Gae person: "Oh yeah i'm part of the Alphabet Mafia"
even cooler Gae person: "You mean the Alphabet Yakuza, right?"

by simonsimon21 May 13, 2021

Alphabet Mafia

The alphabet mafia is an interational asian gang of mostly people in their teenage years, they are very closed off about it, not having a gang color.

The term has recently been changed to be a name for LGBTQ+ aswell.

"Hey have you heard? Alphabet mafia got someone last night."

by Marisie May 17, 2021

Alphabetapointed

When you search every letter from the alphabet and all of them already have a definition. 🥲

I was alphabetapointed today, so I got myself a muffin.

by The Ultimate Weeb June 1, 2021

alphabetdays

the most swaggy person ever, a pog minecraft player, cosplay master, will smith #1 stan

person 1: have u seen the genie alphabetdays today, also known as god?
person 2: yeah, i got an armor stand bc he rejected my hand in marriage!
person 1: just make sure not to rub him ;))

by maxpwr0 June 10, 2021

alphabokee

pretty handsome hilarious alpha but still an alpha meaning hes stupid and irrelevant. actually hes not stupid and irrelevant bc hes funny and likable and hot lets get married.

wow alphabokee is so fucking hot id bang their wall with this toothpick because everyones cock is a toothpick compared to their fat gurthy long sock

by anonymous July 8, 2021

alphabetical accidents

BACKcident: Where you either throw out your spine, or run over/into something while driving in reverse
FAXcident: An "oopsie" (such as garbled or overly-sensitive data) regarding printed material dat you sent over da phone lines
HACKcident: A major computer-related screw-up due to your not having updated your malware-shield recently enough
JACKcident: Depending on which version --- original vs. modern --- of da poem you read, this term can mean: (1) what Jill's male companion suffered due to his losing his footing near da top of da hill where da well was, or (2) what JILL HERSELF suffered when she had unprotected sex wif da pot-smoking Jack, and forgot to take her pill at da time. Can also refer to: (3) what can happen if you don't position your mechanical lifting-device properly when changing a tire, or (4) da painful experience dat you'd get when stepping on an unseen knobby/spikey-toy in your stocking-feet!

Additional examples of alphabetical accidents include:
LAXcident: Refers to either: (1) an unfortunate mishap due to one or more people's not being careful/attentive/cautious enough, or (2) an unexpected calamity at da big airport in Southern California
MAXcident: What insurance-fraud crooks try to create so as to collect da biggest payout dat they possibly can from their injury/damage-related policies
PAXcident: A messy screw-up at da annual gaming-festival
RACKcident: A debacle regarding either a welded-metal wares-platform or da triangular frame for corralling da balls in table-tennis
SACKcident: Refers to either: (1) a messy spillage from a burlap bag, or (2) getting a girl preggo when sharing her sleeping-bag
TACKcident: An unforeseen "big ouch" incident similar to Definition #4 of "Jackcident"
TAXcident: Where you inadvertently let slip about undeclared assets to da IRS
WAXcident: Da unfortunate results of having da hair-removal medium too hot when spreading it on your excessively-furred skin
YAKcident: Refers to either: (1) where you majorly put your foot in your mouth due to uninhibited/indiscreet blabbing, or (2) a mishap regarding a huge hairy mammal with massive curling horns

by QuacksO July 23, 2021