Nigerian Wipe

The simple act of wiping your anus using your right hands forefingers to wipe the shit then rinse the shit off your fingers using your bathroom sink. Repeat until anus is fully clean.
I had no toilet paper left, who the fuck would use their socks? I ussed the Nigerian Wipe.
by KeenanMcAuley November 20, 2016
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Soccer wipe

Using your knee in an upward sweeping motion like a soccer kick to wipe your ass. Commonly used by hand models and double amputees.
Ever since Leonard lost both arms in a mixer at a pancake breakfast he’s had to use the soccer wipe to clean up.
by TripleC September 27, 2017
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Hate Wipe

When you wipe after pooping, and your finger breaks through the toilet paper into your butthole.
Yesterday I accidentally hate wiped myself at my parents house.
by Snipedog22 December 23, 2016
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Conqueror's Wipe

When you have to really put some effort into passing a massive shit, and put one foot up on the bath to wipe your arse, having totally dominated the toilet.
After eating a 40oz steak the night before, it took GP half an hour to pass the results, but the Conqueror's Wipe afterwards was totally, totally justified
by Gronksucker March 27, 2019
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Rage Wipe

When you're trying to wipe after taking a big poop but you just keep wiping poop and get so angry at the thought of you having to wipe so much that you wipe harder and faster; enough to make your butt hole bleed.
"Dude, I just took the biggest dump this morning and it felt so good but my arm is killing me now."

"Your arm? Why?"

" It was so messy and it wouldn't go away and it caused me to rage wipe for about 15 minutes."
by NotsosMom December 20, 2017
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marker wipe

When you wipe, wipe, and wipe a hundred times, but theres still poop. Its like you’re wiping a marker.
Sorry I’m late, I had the marker wipes!
by Qslammer November 15, 2017
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Wipe Squash

When you’re in Wisconsin and you don’t wipe your butt efficiently, it results in an epic squash on your undies.
Hey, Marke! I noticed you had a wipe squash when you walked away.
by DonPitote May 16, 2019
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