The rolled up kleenex that a man will stuff between your butt checks to soak up the sweat during the heat of the summer.
It was a hot humid steaming day and John was concerned that his taint wad was slipping from his crack!!
by SugarCube May 23, 2013

When you drop a turd that’s so hard, so long and so girthy you feel like your taint is being slowly split in half as the behemoth passes.
From the moans coming from the stall next to mine, I’m pretty that guy was forcing out a taint splitter.
Hey braaaaaahhh I’m really hurting. I just has a taint splitter. Will you do a brooohhh a solid and take a gander at my taint and make sure it’s not bleeding?
I’m going to have to take a laxative. I can’t take anymore taint splitters.
Hey braaaaaahhh I’m really hurting. I just has a taint splitter. Will you do a brooohhh a solid and take a gander at my taint and make sure it’s not bleeding?
I’m going to have to take a laxative. I can’t take anymore taint splitters.
by Eaton Holgoode October 16, 2018

by Tbeauie March 2, 2012

To reach a point of stress, anticipation, or engaging an act that is so extreme that you clench the cheeks of your buttocks together so tightly, that your taint is effectively welded together.
by TK42FUN May 4, 2015

by FerneemeryRULES! October 15, 2013

After walking in on his sister and her friend making out naked on her bed, he joined in on the fun and gave her a tainted cocktaili
by Mandoobie October 19, 2020

A relative of the dingleberry, the tainted berserker is a fierce fleck of fecal matter that has invaded upon the grundle region (tainted) as a result of a particularly violent, berserker-style bowel movement.
Strauss invoked the power of Odin upon the porcelain throne of Assgard, thus requiring copious amounts of toilet paper to ensure that no tainted berserkers were creeping up on his family jewels.
by Caible October 10, 2013
