An absolute melon is the person who can only say the most useless answers that contribute nothing the the conversation. They are always looking for attention and have IQ's lower than 4.
by waitwhatdoiputinhereagain August 18, 2023

Guy 1 “dam bro I’m tryna get fucked up tonight” Guy 2 “all I got is absolute thunder” Guy 1 “what?!? The mixture of green thunder energy liquid enhancer and absolute vodka?!?” Guy 2 “hell yeah bro”
by Grayson C. Peters July 29, 2021

by tuco_diaz September 30, 2022

A very large, obese cat.
In order for a fat cat to be considered an absolute unit, it must NOT be of a breed that is naturally very large in size (ex. a Maine Coon).
An orange cat that weighs 25 lbs = Absolute Unit
A Maine Coon that weighs 25 lbs = NOT an Absolute Unit
In order for a fat cat to be considered an absolute unit, it must NOT be of a breed that is naturally very large in size (ex. a Maine Coon).
An orange cat that weighs 25 lbs = Absolute Unit
A Maine Coon that weighs 25 lbs = NOT an Absolute Unit
by Ubeenbamboozledson April 5, 2022

by Jimmy savie September 5, 2021

Daniel: "John, I have absolute luck!"
John: "Really? What do you mean?"
Daniel: "I just landed over twenty bottles flips!"
John: "Dude, bottle flipping died off like years ago..."
John: "Really? What do you mean?"
Daniel: "I just landed over twenty bottles flips!"
John: "Dude, bottle flipping died off like years ago..."
by Brainless Maniac October 13, 2024

Emma/Zara MM
A literal God. Living on mf earth. Emma is a god and a unit. She is always right. She is an absolute unit. A gamer boy. An absolute unit.
A literal God. Living on mf earth. Emma is a god and a unit. She is always right. She is an absolute unit. A gamer boy. An absolute unit.
Bruh babe bro...Emma...is an absolute unit.
Absolute Unit? Bro that's Emma.
*flexes big phat muscles.
Absolute Unit? Bro that's Emma.
*flexes big phat muscles.
by zaragoesvroom January 14, 2022
