Skip to main content

orphan crushing machine

A theoretical device referenced when someone performs an act of generosity of kindness that is only possible because a horrible system has been normalized. Usually seen in "feel good" stories in the news where a child sells a collection so they can afford cancer treatment or a military veteran receives a prosthesis because of a GoFundMe.
Local man saves 500 orphans from the orphan crushing machine!

That's great news! Wait... why is there a machine that crushes orphans?
by v022 December 5, 2025
mugGet the orphan crushing machine mug.

mud orphan

A fecal mud child left abandoned without proper post natal care/burial.
Dude, I just left a steamy mud orphan on old lady Johnson's front porch.

During the adventure race I fathered a mud orphan in the woods.
by Jonas1 November 27, 2007
mugGet the mud orphan mug.

fully orpheoused

Being "fully orpheoused" (adj.): having done a drug in each possible orpheous. Also note "double-orpheousing": doing something in two orpheouses.
For example, if one had recieved a beer funnel, done a vodka-tampon, snorted something, taken something both orally and ocularly, then he or she would be said to have fully orpheoused.
by doubleorpheouser December 16, 2011
mugGet the fully orpheoused mug.

hood orphan

When someone has no solid relationship in one hood so he hops from hood to hood looking for a family
What hood he from 6mths ago he was claiming one hood now he claiming another .. He from whatever hood he think popping he a hood orphan whoever except him .
by Sosincere August 8, 2017
mugGet the hood orphan mug.

Pregnant orphan

a fat pregnant with lots of dandruff
by Lolgog March 18, 2019
mugGet the Pregnant orphan mug.

looks orphan

Yeah basically I’m a looks orphan.
by Ericopolis August 12, 2019
mugGet the looks orphan mug.

Alpha Orphan

The rarely disciplined child that a single mom brings into her marriage with a betabux provider.

Usually, the product of a one-night stand or short-term fling with an alpha male who isn't in the kid's life.

Alpha Orphans are frequently mentioned in their mother's online dating profile along with the statement "My kid(s) come first".
Example 1

Keith: Dude, I was interested until I saw "Proud mom" in her profile.

Wesley: Damn... Alpha Orphans.

Example 2

Husband: Honey, we've been married 4 years now. Can we have a kid now?

Wife: No! I already have two alpha orphans.
by GraveHeretic June 11, 2020
mugGet the Alpha Orphan mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email