condom machine

A thing that is in every truck stop bathroom. Allows the trucker to get a rubber, so he can fuck one of those skanky hookers that hang around truck stops, without the embarrasment of going up to the cashier. Also commonly used by 16 year old boys. The condoms usually cost 75 cents.

Trucker: (Just got done shitting) Looks up at condom machine above the toilet. "Hmm, there done be a lot of skanks hangin out in the parkin lot. Better grab a rubber."

by JJ Hard-on September 7, 2007

Condom titties

Noun; Natural breasts with more skin that fat, as to seem like condoms filled with cottage cheese.

Brittany: (with her breasts exposed) ...but Frey'yud, why shood I git inplants?

Thomas: Be'cause your tiddies look like cottage cheese in two condoms - one made for blacks and one made for Asians.

Brittany: Thomas!

Thomas: Condom titties Con... Cond... (vomits to the side)

by An Honest Mormon February 26, 2009

Bed Condom

The stretchy sheet you put on the mattress of a bed before putting the actual sheets and blankets on it.

Hey, don't lay directly on the mattress, put a bed condom down on it first.

by RCL93 April 19, 2010

and then the condom broke

When you see a person walking towards you and you are having a conversation, you say "and then the condom broke" right when the person gets in hearing range to freak them out.

*Rachel walks towards Vince and Nicole*
Nicole: ...and then the condom broke.
Rachel: WHAT?!!?

by vinnnifer May 19, 2010

condom chandelier

when you take your used condoms, still with semen in them, freeze them and hang them from your roommate's bed

Justin pissed me off the other day, so i gave him a condom chandelier

by jimbo18 December 21, 2006

Condolicious

An affectionate name for Condoleeza Rice

"Is that you Condolicious?"
- George Bush in Harold and Kumar Escape to Guantanamo Bay

by Mandingoe August 2, 2008

Condolations

Condolations:

A situation that is both unfortunate yet celebratory at the same time. Used in uncomfortable situations.

Them: I got that promotion with a big bump in pay, but the boss is a major asshole.

You: Hey, condolations!

Them: My 16 year daughter's expecting (marrying her thug boyfriend, etc..).

You: Well, condolations.

by late_nite_guy_62 February 20, 2010