Skip to main content

retro-wanking

This is when you jack off to the thought or image of old TV stars, maybe from when you were a teenager and porn was in short supply.
"I was watching Charlies Angels on cable last night and treated myself to some great retro-wanking."
by Wizards Sleeve February 14, 2007
mugGet the retro-wanking mug.

wanking

Creamin' it up with your homies.
"I'm wanking it up with my socks on!"
"Go get me a carrot."
by chickunman June 15, 2003
mugGet the wanking mug.

Apple Wining

Also known as orchardification

The act of leaving urine in a toilet or other excrement receptacle long enough for it to ferment. The fermenting urine is usually accompanied by a potent odor not unlike that of fine wine. Usually, once the stench is overtly apparent, the person who made the urine will take note and flush it down. (Almost never without first getting a nice sniff of the seductive juice that had passed through his or her urethra only days before.) If someone is especially proud of his product, he can always allow the apple wine to sit long enough until he is confident enough it is ripe enough for others to enjoy the spectacle.

With a little initiative and courage, an apple-winemaker has three options:
-Admit friends into his piss room for a charge
-Sell his Applewine to a distributor
-Start his own large scale apple winery
Apple Wining is a fruitful business as it can be used in Applewine antioxidant pills to help prevent cancer, be the new Bud Light at parties, or simply take you to a different world with its aroma.
Start Your Wining Today!
*A 17 year old boy is showing his girlfriend around his house*
Jack: And here... here is the bathr-

Valerie: What the fuck is that smell!??!?!

Jack: Great, I know. It's my own little apple winery. You see first I eat two pounds of asparagus then I supplement it with exactly thirty-two ounces of lemon-lime gatorade let our an awesome pee. Then I let it lie for about one week before I-

Valerie: You don't flush your own piss! Like what is wrong with you?

Jack: You... you don't like it?

Valerie: No, psycho. I'm leaving!

Jack: Do have any idea what I have gone through to start this for you???? DID YOU NOT HEAR ME? I SAID I PISS SO MUCH THAT MY DICK FEELS LIKE IT'S DROWNING! I HEAR IT COUGHING AT NIGHT! HEY! COME BACK HERE YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF CUNT TRASH! OH THE TREASURES I'LL REAP FROM APPLE WINING WITHOUT YOU! YOU'LL SEE! I'LL SHOW YOU! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MISSING!
by Derfsniffer May 14, 2011
mugGet the Apple Wining mug.

Wanking afteritch

Where someone wanks (usually straight after an intial wank or just after.) and get a really dry, itchy dick after that needed alot of careful scratching.
I got wanking afteritch. Why didn't I wait...

Coz lucys so damn hot, that why! Aww it's so dry and itchy!
by Coolthatsounds February 2, 2010
mugGet the Wanking afteritch mug.

winningham

A wistfully beautiful nubile that men (and many women) are powerless to resist in any meaningful way... Devastating combinations of passion, inspiration, divorce, and weeping are often ensue... along with trails of sweaty, heaving, weeping, and often smiling, naked, and defenseless bodies...
She was such a Winningham that I creamed and fainted!
by DoctorFrank October 30, 2013
mugGet the winningham mug.

Wanking

The act or the art of jerking off but the word sounds cool so I can just say I'm wanking instead of saying I'm jerking off
Wanking
Hey Michael is wanking right now
by Ligmafatnuts October 6, 2020
mugGet the Wanking mug.

clean wanking

a person who masterbates in the bath or shower to avoid stainning there clothes or bedding
by manx aribter January 27, 2009
mugGet the clean wanking mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email