Shit Wank

Wanking whilst sitting down and having a shit, as it makes the shitting far more enjoyable, and also much, much easier

Damn, I had a really good shit wank today....

Oh, that shit wanking makes shitting so much nicer and easier

I was turtling, and at the same time feeling really horny, so I sat down and had a good shit wank...

by Bibbo November 16, 2006

wank cramp

Brought on by too much activity below the belt line! Results in a dull pain in the area of the gouche.

Man, i knocked out tuns last nite and now i ave got wank cramp! dude it went bloody every where!

by Tink September 14, 2003

Wanking Simon

A variation of the "Peeping Tom", the "Wanking Simon" also falls into the wider subcategory of the "Peep-Wank". Like his cousin Tom, the Wanking Simon will be found peeping through chinks in the curtain or gaps in the timber Venetian blinds at unsuspecting victims who are in a state of undress. The Simon will be simultaneously getting his wank on, hence the name "Wanking Simon". Participants commonly engage in sweater-wearing, as it has been found that a tight knit weave is perfect for brushing over the beaded brow expected from such exertion.

"Why, look at that man over there! He's peeping through the gaps in the timber Venetian blinds of the neighbour's spa house! What is he doing?"

"He's wanking! And look! He's wearing a sweater!"

"By God, you're right! It's a Wanking Simon! Call the police!"

by Hauparu Bay December 17, 2011

wank sock

sock used to masturbate with to avoid having a mess to clean-up after ejaculation

I used a wank sock everytime I masturbate so I don't have to worry about semen going anywhere else but inside the sock which saves me time that I use to spend cleaning semen off my keyboard, mouse, floor, etc...

by Rick Hilton January 13, 2009

wanking spanners

An alternative name for your hands.
obviously used while masturbating.

im away to the toliet to tighten my nuts with my wanking spanners.

by Codiak July 31, 2003

Dubstep Wank

Wanking while listening to dubstep, preferably while watching porn.

1. Hey are you listening to dubstep? yeh I'm having a dubstep wank now piss off.

by ManlyFriedEgg January 19, 2011

pressure wank

When you shout your Mum and then begin wanking.

The idea is you bolt your load before she opens the door.

"Mum"
"Yeah"
"come here"
(begin pressure wanking)
(Bolts load)
(door opens)
"Yes?"

by _pete_ November 15, 2006