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computer engineering

A profession that is hard to learn, hard to practise.
Computer engineering students usually wear plaid shirts and rimless eyeglasses.
by gcx February 22, 2011
mugGet the computer engineeringmug.

Crowd Computing

A sub-section of Cloud Computing offered by service providers that under-invest in both server infrastructure and technical support staff.

Companies that outsource to them do not realise that they are being crammed in like sardines to the vendors infrastructure which is nowhere near adequate. They only start to realise they are up shit creek when they try to contact technical support for help only to be placed in the longest most painful telephone queue of their life.
Afghan: "None of our 1,000 employees can access their online email application, my CIO's already been fired and I'm next for the chop...I opened a support ticket with the vendor 5 days ago and this is the 26th time I've tried to get through to them on the phone...I am dead meat man, dead meat <sniff>."

Tragic: "Well Afghan, that's Crowd Computing for you."
by Tragic Stan November 20, 2010
mugGet the Crowd Computingmug.

computer guru

Someone who is extremely skilled with computers. A step above your run-of-the-mill computer genius.
When the Internet stopped working, Dave installed an Internet proxy server on his phone (which still had Internet), and reconfigured their wireless router to forward TCP/IP packets through his phone so that his family could still watch Netflix on their laptops. He is quite the computer guru!
by guy354 September 17, 2016
mugGet the computer gurumug.

computer clap

When your computer gets a virus from surfing porno sites and/or watching on-line pornography.

Attributed to Lane Leipold
"Hey Lane, you'd better stop watching that porno on your computer , or it will get the computer clap and you'll go blind!"
"I was checking out Jenna Jameson, and next thing I know my computer has the clap; thecomputer clap! "
by Salty 40 May 12, 2018
mugGet the computer clapmug.

computer pants

A better sounding name for the underwear you wear in front of a computer for maximum comfortability (and thermal balance) when you are alone at home and don't have to go somewhere.
When I get home, I'll change into my computer pants.
by felixh September 30, 2016
mugGet the computer pantsmug.

School computer

The shittiest machine ever.
can't do anything on this lousy machine
probably made by goblins in the year 10000000000000000 b.c. and then puked up by a yak and pooped out by a skunk
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAMN GLITCHY ITS PHYSICALLY FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!
student: I HATE THIS FUCKING SCHOOL COMPUTER!!!
teacher: YOU WERE UNMUTED!
student: DAMN IT!!!!
Nelson Muntz: HAW HAW!
by Lovecraftian_Horror#1 January 19, 2021
mugGet the School computermug.

Computer callous

A computer callous is located on the heel of your hand, usually the hand you use to move your mouse.

It is usually caused by the heel of your hand being rubbed against the mouse mat for long periods of time, usually during all nighters on the internet.

A computer callous is most often a little more red than your usual skin tone and is quite soft and smooth.
Hoshit, I've been on the computer so long I've aquired a computer callous.
by Hollydollie August 21, 2009
mugGet the Computer callousmug.

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