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wanker's length

1.An arbitary unit of measurement, defined as the maximum length of toilet paper used when cleaning ones spunk from the carpet (8 sheets).

2.Used as an insult, meaning you are toilet paper covered in nob sneeze.
1. I was literally a wanker's length from getting the bus.

2. He was really tall, about one and a half wanker's lengths.

3.It is about a 200 wanker's length walk to the shops.

4.You fucking dumb wanker's length.
wanker's length by Joniquai March 20, 2005

Wankers Doo

When you call in for a friend after he has a wank, he will be sitting with a sweaty head and a greasy greasy hair"doo". Therefore he has a wankers doo
Knock Knock
whos there?
fred
aww ok come in
Jez sir uve a wile wankers doo, were u wanking
Aye i waz surely, very sweaty now

Cry Wanker

Pathetic excuse for a man. Like the above. Befriends women but due to screwed perception, mistakes simple friendship for sexual interest to the point of stalking. This always culminates in sobbing and self love in public places.
'Oh dear, Steve disappeared the night before thanksgiving. He was very drunk and upset with his housemate.'

'yes, for some reason he ran away to that Finnish girls house.'
'Really? The one who made it clear she is not interested in him?'

'That is the one. What's more she was off banging her fuck buddy while Steve sat outside her house.'

'Dear me! So what was he doing there that long?'
'Playing with himself and sobbing, you know what a cry wanker he is!'
Cry Wanker by svenjamie November 10, 2014

Coffee Wanker 

The act of ordering a Ridiculously long named coffee normally from a franchise coffe shop such as starbucks.

These people are called coffee wankers.
Jesus Victoria couldnt you have just ordered a large White coffee from starbucks instead of a Grande Skinny Latte with soya milk, twist of lemon and a sprinkle of Cinnamon and shot of vanilla? you dirty coffee wanker.
Coffee Wanker by Moonbizzle III September 25, 2009

Horse wanged 

Sexual act in which a male inserts his penis into a large framed but muscular woman's buttocks while simultaneously placing a belt in her mouth to control the action.
Yesterday, Carl horse wanged Martha in the backyard.

Carl brought his old belt to Martha's in case she wanted a horse wanging in the backyard.
Horse wanged by Motherhunter September 20, 2016
A british term for "one who masterbates". Commonly used as an insult
God damn that wanker!
Wanker by j5_teh_evil November 16, 2002