Someone who attends a live music event and insists on filming the performance on their phone instead of enjoying the atmosphere. Exactly what these dipshits do with the footage after the event is unclear but it's likely it just sits on their phone, acting as a reminder of the performance they attended in person but largely watched via a 5 inch screen. The Phone Wanker is further characterised by the person filming the event with their phone in a vertical/portrait orientation, thus rendering the footage unusable for any purpose other than viewing it on their phone. Sadly all attempts to capture the event for prosperity (or perhaps bragging rights) are rendered useless anyway since the diminutive microphone on the phone is inadequate when faced with the venues high powered speaker stack.
I went to see Rag n Bone man in concert last week. Amazing gig but I was surrounded by Phone Wankers who insisted on filming it!
by JayWon April 21, 2017

by Klinkhammer November 22, 2017

Person who talks loudly on phone around a captive audience (i.e. In an elevator, a train, dorm room, or other group setting) and says ignorant, obnoxious, or simply TMI kinds of things.
In a dorm, late at night:
Your room-mate on the phone: "Don't worry dude, you didn't know you had (horrendous STD) before you started dating her, if she breaks up with you over that, she's just not the one."
You text your friend: "My room-mate is a total Phone-douche!"
All the while you cover your ears under your blanket imagining smashing his phone/asking God what you did to deserve this.
Your room-mate on the phone: "Don't worry dude, you didn't know you had (horrendous STD) before you started dating her, if she breaks up with you over that, she's just not the one."
You text your friend: "My room-mate is a total Phone-douche!"
All the while you cover your ears under your blanket imagining smashing his phone/asking God what you did to deserve this.
by sprstix409 January 28, 2012

the act of checking you side and then back pockets in search of your phone usually causing you to accidently perform a portion of the macarena.
by mynamedontmatter October 19, 2009

A functional mobile cellular communications device that is cobbled together from various random, unusable or even un-related components.
Shit, man. That new iPhone costs over a grand! $250 hot or off the Dark-Net...Looks like I get to keep my Chinese Franken-phone 'till those prices drop to reasonable.
by YAWA February 12, 2020

Small silver block that characters on detective television shows,all the CSIs, and "House" pull out of their pockets when the writers can't get off the bong long enough to come up with a better plot device. This cube magically give the characters the next surprising clue which allows the story to dangle or move to its surprise ending, depending on how close to the end of the hour it is. See DNA EVIDENCE
Plot direction:
Caruso:I'll see you in hell/jail/syndication.
(reach into pocket for cell phone) Caruso (pause, adjust glasses, or draw back sport coat to get good handle on waist). I'm coming in.
Peripheral Snarky CSI Staffer: Who was that?
Caruso: They found-the murder weapon/killer/a time slot for CSI Des Moines.
Caruso:I'll see you in hell/jail/syndication.
(reach into pocket for cell phone) Caruso (pause, adjust glasses, or draw back sport coat to get good handle on waist). I'm coming in.
Peripheral Snarky CSI Staffer: Who was that?
Caruso: They found-the murder weapon/killer/a time slot for CSI Des Moines.
by Pantaloon January 12, 2008

The head phones one uses to masturbate with. Usually used to keep the pornographic sounds from entering other's ears that are near.Are usually covered in semen.
Guy #1 Hey why are these headphones so sticky?
Guy #2 Oh yes, those would be my jizz phones.
Guy #1 *Throws headphones*
Guy #2 Oh yes, those would be my jizz phones.
Guy #1 *Throws headphones*
by guy # 2 August 6, 2010
