Disaster Wank

A wank that takes your mind off a disaster that has just occured, allowing you to have a clear mind to think of a solution.

1) I rolled my car last night. Hit two pedestrians and a dog.
2) Bloody hell, what did you do?!
1) I had a quick Disaster Wank then set about destroying the evidence before running off into the woods.

by Harold Bishop's Love Child March 2, 2010

Casual Wank

Wanking casually, usually when a person wanks whilst talking to a friend and having a generally good time. Often happens at social gatherings

Hey Sean? Are you having a casual wank?

by JakeCookieee August 29, 2015

Wank Mit

A mitten used to aid masturbation. Often knitted from wool. A posh alternative to the wank sock.

Available in male and female flavours.

Tobias, my mom just found one of my wank socks and put her hand inside it!", "Dude, you really need to buy a wank mit, they're washable too

by WankMit April 13, 2011

Wank Camel

When you go a long time without having a flog just like a camel would go without water.

Person 1: "I haven't masturbated in ages."

Person 2: "Whoa dude, you're such a Wank Camel."

by TeddyBazz December 9, 2015

noble wank

To remain stoic and in touch with your spiritual side while engaging in the act of masturbation. It could also be to masturbate with a higher purpose in mind than merely the pursuit of bodily pleasures.

Father: son, did i just catch you tugging your meat soldier?

son: yes dad, but dont worry, it was a noble wank.

Father: Well that's ok then son, you have maintained your dignity. I'll speak with your mother and see if we cant raise your allowance a bit.

son: thank you father.

by Dasten June 2, 2014

karen wank

Anything that makes a Karen cream her pants. This includes but is not limited to:
Being told she must do something
A request of hers being refused
A new rule being implemented
Any opportunity to complain
More than one manager currently available
Too much lettuce on their fast food burger.

Oh god, too much lettuce....that's another Karen Wank.

by KosherBob January 6, 2021

romantic wank

A wank with some romance

Shaun liked nothing better than a Romantic Wank after a long day at the office. Put on some Barry White run a hot bath light some candles and charm the snake while getting freaky like Grace Jones until bed time.

by PoOpa FoOker March 23, 2016