Monkey Shit Fights

A term used to describe when a situation is so tremendously Fucked up that it is beyond repair.

I've seen Monkey Shit Fights organized better than this!

by JSP123 January 22, 2009

the monkey no-monkey existential quagmire

1. an existential conundrum that involves both the strong desire to possess the monkey while simultaneously rejecting it.

2. an alternate state of consciousness in which one can both covet and despise the same object, idol, concept or place. may also apply to mommy, daddy, ABCs, elmo.

jack: "monkey."

jack: "NO MONKEY."

jack: "monkey."

daddy: "i believe we're stuck in the monkey no-monkey existential quagmire again."

by big poppa philosophical August 30, 2010

Human Monkey

Someone who acts like a monkey, usually crazy. But around people they trust. They also look like a monkey. And some might even say he/she even laugh like one.

"I can see that Luca is a Human Monkey"

"See? I told you he was!"

by Soccerlover14 July 20, 2016

trump monkey

trump monkey (def): One who, when when faced with anti-Trump comments, responds only with name-calling and other (metaphorical) feces-slinging, rather than intelligent discourse. It's like arguing with a monkey at the zoo.

When asked about Trump's lie that "everyone will be covered" by Trumpcare , the Trump monkey response was, "you're an asshat tool of the fake news media!"

by bhavacakra0 March 19, 2017

monkey claw

A fart that feels like your colon is being ripped apart by a thousand monkeys.

"The monkey claw is smelly"

by James Howard December 27, 2003

Monkey it up

A figure of speech meaning to create a mess out of a good situation

Player: We have a big lead lets put the bench warmers in
Coach: This is the championship game. Starters will stay in. We don't want to monkey it up

by Im ur daddy. August 29, 2018

Monkey Woman

A woman addicted to heroin, the addiction being a "monkey on her back"

There ain't nothin' in Chicago that a monkey woman can do.

by alexuto85u690587369085 September 25, 2012