Da Jesus Book

A Pidgin English version of the New Testament, written for those whose native (Or most understood, at least) tongue is Pidgin English.

The Lord's prayer as recorded in Da Jesus Book:
God, you our Fadda.
You stay inside da sky.
We like all da peopo know fo shua how you stay,
An dat you stay good an spesho,
An we like dem give you plenny respeck.
We like you come King fo everybody now.
We like everybody make jalike you like,
Ova hea inside da world,
Jalike da angel guys up inside da sky make jalike you like.
Give us da food we need fo today an every day.
Hemmo our shame, an let us go
Fo all da kine bad stuff we do to you,
Jalike us guys let da odda guys go awready,
And we no stay huhu wit dem
Fo all da kine bad stuff dey do to us.
No let us get chance fo do bad kine stuff,
But take us outa dea, so da Bad Guy no can hurt us.
Cuz you our King.
You get da real power,
An you stay awesome foeva.
Dass it!

by capitan October 12, 2004

Jesus Walks

A song by Kanye West. Also a dance created by Kanye West while performing the song on stage at a concert.

1. "Jesus Walks" is a good song

2. Look at that dude on the dancefloor! He's bustin' out the Jesus Walks!

by DJHill August 24, 2004

jesus cripes

Used to express surprise

OH JESUS CRIPES I RAN OVER A PHEASANT

by Cripes Almightly! October 16, 2013

jesustinance

Sustinance that Christians derive from Jesus.

That drunken, gambling, cheating Christian lost everything. All that keeps him going now is Jesustinance.

by Robopoet January 4, 2009

jesus fish

In ancient Greek times Christians would be executed if they were found to be so. Therefore the ichthys (Jesus fish) was used as a way for two Christian to be made known to each other. In the ground, using a stick or staff, one man would draw the first arch of the ichthys and wait until another man would walk up and draw the second arch to finish it. This method would allow both men to know the other was a Christian without making the risk of voicing it.

Though back in those days they knew what the symbol actually meant, it was chosen by its simplicity. The ichthys is actually a symbol of fertility. In today's culture it is displayed on its side to look like a fish. Originally it was displayed with the football-shaped hole pointing upward and the open end downward. This showed what it truly represented, the vagina and anus of the fertility goddess Atargatis. Atargatis is also known in different cultures as Tirgata, Aphrodite, Pelagia or Delphine.

*looking at a car driving by with a jesus fish on the back*
"I see he's pro-vaginas."

by Ty4thVenom April 10, 2006

Jesus Point

Prestige gained when something good, or a good deed is done in Jesus' and or gods eyes.

Hey bro! Get any Jesus Points today?

by some12email July 24, 2006

Jesus Bar

The handle on the passenger side of 4 wheel drive vehicles that you hold onto when the vehicle tilts on extreme angles.

The Jesus Bar is so named because most passengers will grab it at the same time as shouting "Oh Jesus!"

by Byron john March 26, 2009