wanking jacket

A dressing gown, a bath robe. A garment one frequently pleasures oneself in after getting morning glory but before getting dressed.

Also, just as the Victorians would change into a 'smoking jacket' before enjoying a post-prandial cigar, in order that the smell of smoke clinging to their clothes did not later harm their chances of pulling the ladies, some contemporary gentlemen may prefer to change into their wanking jackets before bashing the bishop in order to prevent unsightly jizz stains from having much the same effect.

'I'd just had a particularly erotic dream about donkey punching Mariah Carey, so when I woke up with my usual morning wood, I had to crank one out straight away. However, as it was an unseasonally cold day, I thought I had better put on my wanking jacket first, so as to prevent myself catching a cold.

by Simon Dykes May 31, 2006

wanking pit

a wanking pit is bed/matress that sags in the middle, smells of man sweat, covered in stains and its secondry use is to be slept on

Ok mate, come round in 30 mins, i'm still in my wanking pit

by mr smith March 8, 2005

Tell your story walking

Depending on context there are two accepted meanings for this phrase.

Friendly: The story should be shared while we are in route.

Unfriendly: Whatever you have to say, say it while you are leaving.

Wow we are going to be late, can you "tell your story walking?

or

You are under arrest, put your hands behind your back. Don't give me any lip, "tell your story walking".

by Romale_2307 August 17, 2010

selective walking

Another word for stalking. Usually use by the stalker to make it sound like there not stalking.

'dude, stop stalking me'
'im not stalking you, i prefer to call it selective walking'

by amy peters October 12, 2005

walking blowjob

when a really short girl is with a really tall guy, she comes to his waistline therefore, well, you know the rest

Damn dude, she's so short she's a walking blowjob.

by Felix April 21, 2003

walking penis

an out of shape, bald man who actually think he looks cool with his shaved head.

shit, i've never liked that dickhead rob and now he looks like a walking penis.

by jocko July 19, 2004

grinning like a wanking jap

over the moon,
ecstatic

by eck kes, you're manouvering has got me grinning like a wanking jap - kes

by mad dog February 26, 2004