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Left-reading

Interpretations of media that makes excuses for sexist/anti-lgbtq/racist themes by giving undue credit and nuance to authorial intent; especially as a way to give a pass to offensive writing in movies/books/etc you might enjoy.
"Zelda isn't actually a damsel in distress because she helps in defeating the final boss"

"No, that's just a left-reading of her role. She still has to wait around for Link to save her very frequently."

or

"The left-readings of Rey's role in Star Wars Episode 8 are too forgiving, considering she spends so much of the film trying to 'fix' men. "
by smeefus August 27, 2019
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Third-Reading

When one is reading a romance book and feels as though they are third-wheeling with the characters.
“Omg Rebecca I’m reading this book and I’m totally third-reading with the main ship”
by Omg Rebecca September 15, 2019
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Bert-reading

Reading of a petition perform before signing it, to find out if you should support it or not, although the title is convincing. It's the final stage before signing a petition.
X: Did you just sign that petition ?
Y: Yes, why ?
X: You know better! Please do a bert-reading next time!!
Y: Why ?
X: Petitions can be very powerful and being attention to issues that we don’t know about... but I really need you to read some of these before signing. Some of them don’t be saying nothing and actually detract from grassroots organizations that are already doing the work.
by jhumigas June 6, 2020
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Sandwich-reading

The process of reading the first and last chapter of a book, and then writing an essay about what you think the books insides are.

Educated guesswork using online summary sources are also a viable method of completing sandwich-reading.
I didn't read that book. I was only sandwich-reading it to make sure key points got introduced. I couldn't read the whole thing since I was too busy.
by Somegregoryguy January 23, 2023
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Phonetic Reading Disorder

Phonetic Reading Disorder or Phonetic RD is the inability to read or comprehend words spelled non-phonetically, resulting in poor to non-existent reading capabilities.
"I was diagnosed with Phonetic RD, which explains why I have so much trouble reading."
"I can't read because of my Phonetic Reading Disorder. "
by A.S.K.D April 7, 2023
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empty reading

when you read because you're bored or tired or sad and even if the story is great, you don't feel anything
I was empty reading last night, and the plot was great, but i'll have to read it again so i can feel it.
by mRhehehe December 25, 2023
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Asshole Reading

"Asshole reading, or Asshole Readings" though it may sound unconventional, is a form of psychic reading that has gained recognition within certain circles of the psychic community. In this practice, the psychic focuses on interpreting the wrinkles and features present in the private area of the client.
Usage:
"I can't believe asshole reading is an actual thing now. People are getting their private areas examined by psychics for insights into their lives."
"Urban Dictionary has a definition for asshole reading? That's wild!"
"I'm not sure if I believe in asshole reading, but it's definitely an interesting concept."
by UnknownPersonell February 7, 2024
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