Cancer crystals

White sugar; can be applied to salt, brown sugar, sweetener, but most usually to white sugar, on the basis that "everything" - sugar, sweetener, coffee, red meat, water, oxygen and light will cause cancer (eventually).

Taking all available information into account, the only way to avoid dying of cancer is to forswear all food and drink, and shut yourself in an airtight lead box. You won't die of cancer. You will still die, and quite quickly, but it won't be of cancer.

"Coffee's done. Milk and sugar ?"

"No milk, but gimme two spoons of cancer crystals".

by eighth of seven February 6, 2010

Window Cancer

sad affliction befalling Russian operatives who cross Putin, for which there is no cure

Sergei Lukmanov, Russian billionaire with 9 yachts and 16 vacation homes, "earned" his billions via oil & gas in Russian region of Siberia. After Putin invaded Ukraine and committed countless atrocities Vlad needed scapegoats so Sergei accidentally tripped and fell out a 20-story building in the latest occurrence of stage 4 Window Cancer. sad.

by Uncle Joosie April 25, 2022

testicular cancer

Hurts like BALLS. Actually, just plain hurts balls.

OOUUUUGHH! I've got testicular cancer!

by i'm+awesome May 21, 2006

terminal cancer

what you call someone or something when that certain thing or person makes you want to kys

Gabe: I just ranked up to Silver III in CS:GO
Eric: Nice, how long have you had it?
Gabe: 2 years
Eric: You are literally terminal cancer

by DiamondMinerMC May 13, 2016

cancer merchant

One who sells cigaretts

watch clerks savages!!!!

by Jay October 1, 2003

SERF Cancer

Smooth endoplasmic rectilum functioning cancer. It causes lipids to stop being produced by the smooth endoplasmic rectilum, depriving red blood cells from essential fats. This causes red blood cells to collapse, especially in the facial areas, causing redness and also resulting in severe sunburn and peeling of skin. Eventually will result in cellular necrosis causing death. This cancer appears to be genetically caused and has only been found in aboriginal Australians however there is one case of it appearing in a male welsh tourist

He has passed away from SERF Cancer

by SamHewson123456789101112131415 June 5, 2017

cunt cancer

Cancer of the cunt. It is a serious condition that you should see a doctor for.

Shit I have been diagnosed with cunt cancer!

by shannon369 February 9, 2009