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hey, its hannah. hannah baker.

Hey, it's Hannah. Hannah Baker. That's right. Don't adjust your...whatever device you're hearing this on. It's me, live and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore, and this time, absolutely no requests. Get a snack. Settle in. Because I'm about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you're listening to this tape you're one of the reasons why. I'm not saying which tape brings you into the story. But fear not, if you received this lovely little box, your name will pop up. I promise. Anyway, the rules here are pretty simple. - There are only two. Rule number one: you listen. Number two: you pass it on. Hopefully, neither one will be easy. It's not supposed to be easy, or I would have emailed you an MP3. When you're done listening to all 13 sides, because there are 13 sides to every story rewind the tapes, put them back in the box, and pass them on to the next person. Oh and the box of tapes should have included a map. I'll be mentioning several spots around our beloved city. I can't force you to visit them, but if you'd like a little more insight, head for the stars. Or you know, just throw away the map and I'll never know or will I? You see, in case you're tempted to break the rules, understand I did make a copy of these tapes, and I left them with a trusted individual who, if this package doesn't make it through all of you, will release these copies in a very public manner. This was not a spur of the moment decision.
Hey, its Hannah. Hannah Baker. That's right. Don't adjust your..whatever device you're hearing this on. It's me, live and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore, and this time, absolutely no requests. Get a snack. Settle in. Because I'm about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you're listening to this tape you're one of the reasons why. I'm not saying which tape brings you into the story. But fear not, if you received this lovely little box, your name will pop up. I promise. Anyway, the rules here are pretty simple. There are only two. Rule number one you listen Number two you pass it on. Hopefully, neither one will be easy It's not supposed to be easy, or I would have emailed you an MP3. When you're done listening to all 13 sides, because there are 13 sides to every story rewind the tapes, put them back in the box, and pass them on to the next person. Oh and the box of tapes should have included a map. I'll be mentioning several spots around our beloved city. I can't force you to visit them, but if you'd like a little more insight, head for the stars. Or you know, just throw away the map and Ill never know or will I You see in case you're tempted to break the rules, understand I did make a copy of these tapes and I left them with a trusted individual who if this package doesnt make it through all of you will release these copies in a very public manner. This was not a spur of the moment decision.
by ilovezaynmalik March 13, 2021
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Jack Baker Solution

Cutting off the tops of your socks with a pocket knife, in order to wipe your ass when no toilet paper or other paper products are available. Thus enabling you to keep the lower portion as a sock still. Most commonly used in the Latin american countries where toilet paper is precious. See also " Sock Monkey ".
I had an explosive case of Diarhhea in the Gas station bathroom before I realized there was no toliet paper or towels. However I was safe because I used the "Jack Baker Solution". THANKS JACK!
by Shatty Mcshatster December 28, 2007
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The Angry Baker

When you stick your dick in a loaf of bread then fuck a girl to give her a yeast infection
My girlfriend was being a bitch so I gave her the angry baker.
by JimmyRude December 29, 2007
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The Baker

The act of jizzing into a condom during sex, removing the condom, and sneekily cuting off the tip of the semen recepticle. Then squeeze out the spooge (preferably on partners face) like a baker frosts a cake.
Did you hear about Aaron pulling the baker on some random girl he met?

I totally pulled the baker on her!
by evilnapsterguy January 7, 2009
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pie baker

a child molester. Can be used to suggest rape and child molesting (especially in the movie Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe) while in the presence of small childrn.
God Sara, the White Witch is such a pie baker!
by Kell Bell September 1, 2008
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Bend Me Over Baker

describes a girl of classy origin that doesnt like tradition, instead would rather have her head in a pillow, ass up...and thats the way she likes to...

yes bent over, hard and fast, thats is all.
hello, please can you bend me over baker!
by SassySofia February 1, 2010
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Joe Baker

Weed. Also known as "the happy plant." The term Joe Baker is used when calling a random girl that you do not know to get this weed. And it is also safe to say around your parents and older relatives that will tell the police about your drug use.
Reed: I'm a friend of a friend of a friend of Joe Baker, and I need some weed.

Random Girl: Out of stock.

Reed: That's a shame.
by Lauren/Janelle September 20, 2009
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