perfect turd

A perfect turd is a turd produced in one push that is a solid column of shit that rests on the bottom of the toilet bowl with its top poking out above the water line.

Jack laid a perfect turd that when he checked his performance was standing up in the bowl looking back up at him

by witchieblackcat February 8, 2018

Denting the Turd

The act of anal sex.

"Dude, that girl I took home last night totally wanted it in the butt. I was up all night denting the turd."

Also past tense, "Oh, man- you dented the turd?!" "I think she had her turd dented."

by Stormy151 September 10, 2011

Got a turd in your pocket?

What you say when someone wrongfully assumes you will be included in an undesirable activity. Another way of saying "what do you mean we?"

Holly: "I told my cousin we would help him move this weekend."
Ramon: "Got a turd in your pocket?"
Holly: "Excuse me?"
Ramon: "You said 'we' so you must be referring to yourself and the turd in your pocket. I have plans this weekend."

by mlamson January 8, 2011

Frosted Turd

When you have anal sex with a partner, and then you ejaculate in their poopchute. Then, when they poop, it is what they call a frosted turd.

I gave my girl a nice pounding in the ass, and then a little bit later, she wanted me to check out her frosted turd.

by Steven Jonesss July 2, 2008

turd monkey

1) A phrase which is used to express disgust towards a person. Not to be mistaken with monkey turd. A turd monkey is generally someone who annoys or disgusts you, but can be used on anyone who generally pisses you off.
2) A statue of a monkey made out of a turd.

1) "You complete and utter turd monkey."
2) "That's a good turd monkey there, Stan."

by Stephen W. Thomas October 12, 2004

stuck turd

Adjective: Onerous, offensive, burdensome.

I wish those liberals would stop saddling us with their stuck turd laws. I have to fill out six forms in triplicate to build a tree house in my back yard.

by Tuna Wanda May 15, 2005

turd licker

one who places the tongue upon shit

the neighbors dog left a steamer on the lawn which prompted the turd licker to have a taste

by scart July 11, 2003