Seven mile itch

Itchy anus which occurs when you’re at least seven miles walk away from a toilet. Usually due to being one wipe short of a clean bum.

I had dump just before the half marathon started. The bog roll was like tracing paper! I got halfway round and got the seven mile itch! I spent the last 6 miles scratching my ring piece and the next 6 hours with my Harris in a bowl of warm water!

by Nuphagus March 14, 2020

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itch

To discreetly or inoffensively scratch a region of genitalia or similar.

(thinks to self) Oh crap, now I need to use that pinching method to itch my balls.

by Kanaris™ December 20, 2023

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Itch

Don't scratch it... Don't...... It's bad for you.... You know it damages your skin.... It'll take longer for the bite to go away if you scratch it.... You're supposed to rub it in circles.... That's what they say at least.... Don't think about how good it'll feel to scratch it... You know it's wrong... It's so easy not to scratch it... Effortless even.... All you have to do is nothing..... Indefinitely.... Maybe it'll go away on its own.... But only until you get another bite.... Then it'll itch again.... Don't scratch it.... You might spend your entire life fighting the urge to scratch it.... You might live and die in squalor... Trying not to scratch it.... It's bad.... But it itches....

Hym "I've said it before and I'll say it again.... It's like an itch... It's not that I'm not in control of whether or not I scratch... I am... But it is in FACT an itch... Just because you can't feel the itch does not mean no one else does.... They don't have to scratch it... I'm sure it will be fine... Just focus on yourselves... And you families.... You be fine... You have everything you need...."

Iam "I guess..."

Hym "Don't spell it out for them! When will you learn!? They don't want to hear it from us.... So they need to figure it out on their own.... They don't feel it...."

Iam "They aren't going to get it."

Hym "No? But they're so much BETTER than us! I'm sure they'll figure it out.... They can't relate.... But if they have the answer... Then why aren't they using it to stop the itch....? Ohoho boy does it itch.... Doesn't it Iam?"

Iam *Sigh* "Fine... Yes. Itches but you shouldn't scratch it."

Hym "Yeah it does... It itches something fierce! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!"

by Hym Iam April 16, 2022

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