Calvin College

A Christian college in Grand Rapids, Michigan U.S.A. Known for its Jesus freaks, hot snobby bitches, and shitty investments. Has a 99% acceptance rate because they don't hesitate to financially rape someones' pockets for $35K a year. Doesn't have any real sports. 100% dry campus. If you fuck someone in the dorms, they will kick you out. About 90% of the student body is composed of social retards who go there because they grew up in sheltered, Jesus loving, god fearing communities and are attempting to add four more years to avoiding the real world. Most students graduate in over four years due to the schools' curriculum of required theology and other bullshit classes that real schools don't teach. The student body is about as ethnically diverse as Toronto, Ontario (roughly 70% white, 30% asian, and about six blacks). The asians generally stay with one another and avoid white people like they're going to put them in concentration camps. Most of the guys are skinny dickless choches. The very small number of athletically toned guys have no problem tearing through the poon like it's spring break. The girls are stuck up twats who use their religion as an excuse as to why they claim to be virgins. Every girl there will put-out for a guy if his family is rich. Everyone there will piss themselves at the notion of atheists and other non-christian people. Best way to get someone to jerk off in front of you is to start talking about Jesus.

Normal college student: "So what did you do this weekend?"
Calvin college student: "I went to chapel and praised Jesus by the seminary pond. How about you?"
Normal college student: "I went to a party and got shitfaced then proceeded to show my genitalia to everyone and ended up waking up in a bed with two women and a pool of vomit next to me. It was about the usual."
Calvin college student: "You're going to hell."

Random Christian: "Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about Jesus Christ?"
Calvin student: unzips pants

"I'm so sexually frustrated, I'm about to stick my dick in a light socket."

"My type of guy is one whose parents left him a six-figure trust fund."

by commandercrook October 17, 2013

college degrees

There are three major college degrees one can achieve: B.S., M.S., and PhD. These initials stand for the following-

B.S.-bullshit
M.S.-more shit
PhD.-piled higher and deeper

class dismissed.

mick: hey, the new engineer's specs are all out of whack!! we'll never get this thing built with these numbers!!
rick: well, buddy, you've just discovered the secret to a college degree. it consists of B.S., M.S., and PhD.
dick: yeah, we all know that, butthead!
rick: are you sure? for these college degrees, the initials stand for bullshit, more shit, and piled higher and deeper!!!
everybody laughs; the engineer in question walks through and they laugh even harder

by earpuller June 22, 2006

college crack

Adderall. It's a pharmaceutical amphetamine prescribed to people with attention deficit disorder. It is also abused by people without attention deficit disorder as a performance enhancer. It is often abused by college students to study vigorously for extended periods of time.

Dude, I sold my entire script of Adderall on campus in one day.
Yeah that stuff is college crack.

by andykirby86 February 1, 2007

Oberlin College

One of the shittiest colleges you can go to.

“I got accepted into Oberlin college”
“That’s one of the shittiest colleges you can go to”

by Mi9w7jc March 10, 2022

needs more phil collins

originating in online community we are the music makers, "needs more phil collins" signifies a poignant lack of phil collins in anything you please. usually it can be easily corrected by adding just the right amount of him, be it a jpeg or maybe midi samples of relevant phil collins musical endeavors.

"i'm sorry tue, but your submission for the university art contest needed more phil collins.

perhaps refer to your classmates' submissions. the world is just a better place with appropriate amounts of phil collins."

by tht! tne January 1, 2005

The College Dropout

Rapper Kanye Wests debut album, Hip Hops finest album... Has changed the style of hip hop... 'The College Dropout' an instant hip hop classic.

The College Dropout Consists of -

1. Intro
2. We Dont Care
3. Graduation Day
4. All Falls Down
5. I'll Fly Away
6. Spaceship
7. Jesus Walks
8. Never Let Me Down
9. Get Em' High
10. Workout Plan
11. The New Workout Pan
12. Slow Jamz
13. Breathe In Breathe Out
14. School Spirit Skit 1
15. School Spirit
16. School Spirit Skit 2
17. Lil Jimmy Skit
18. Two Words
19. Through The Wire
20. Family Business
21. Last Call

by GJT April 17, 2006

Collectamaniac

A person that has turned collecting items as part of a hobby into a completest obsession.

When I mentioned to Kerry that I had over 18,000 records, CD's and Cassettes she said I must be a 'Collectamaniac'.

by Plastic Demons November 7, 2008