Captain Planet

Protect the environment, or he'll fucking kill you!

Guy: You got glass in my eyes..
Ted Turner: ..And my foot in your BALLS!"
*boots
"CAPTAIN PLANET!"

by Ghost Dog X August 12, 2009

late-stage capitalism

We have reached late-stage capitalism. This is the era where businesses, investors and even the layperson will try everything they possibly can to capitalize on literally anything and every situation. The increasingly diverse stock industry and the booming crypto mining industry can be seen as one of the many aspects of late-stage capitalism. There is no single way to define late-stage capitalism, as the effects are most often seen on a micro scale and the scope is very broad as a result of the plethora of industries.

Some of the various examples of late-stage capitalism could include, but are not limited to: profiting off of your attractive physique, selling your personal data, selling your poop, dropshipping, house flipping, game companies making every single game pay-to-win, news corporations putting paywalls on their news sites, smartphone companies removing the headphone jack to save money, paying people to say positive affirmations, etc etc.

Essentially, it is capitalism but 10x more savage.

Thanks to the diverse range of markets, Jane was able to profit immensely from selling her bathwater, her used underwear, her poop, her sweat, her private browsing data, how many miles she walked, her emotions, her voice, and even her hair. Likewise, capitalists continue to venture into turning the most ordinary things into profitable commodities, while companies have lowered their standards to cut corners in every way possible to save money. This is late-stage capitalism in a nutshell.

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian May 3, 2021

Capitalism

An economic system based on private ownership of the means of production, in which personal bling can be acquired through investment of capital and employment of peeps. Capitalism is grounded in the concept of fo' real enterprise, which argues that the man's intervention in the economy should be restricted and that a free market, based on supply and demand, will ultimately maximize consumer dough. These principles were most notably pwned in Adam Smith's treatise, The Wealth of Nations (1776), in which he opposed the prevailing theory of mercantilism. Capitalism has existed in a limited form in the economies of all hoods, but its modern importance dates at least from the Industrial Revolution that began in the 18th century, when bankers, merchants, playas and industrialists (the bourgeoisie) began to displace landowners in political, economic, and social importance, particularly in Great Britain. Capitalism stresses freedom of individual economic enterprise; however, government action has been and is required to curb its playa-hating, which have ranged from slavery (particularly in Britain and the United States), haxors(In Diablo and CS servers), and apartheid (in South Africa) to monopoly cartels and financial fraud. Capitalism does not presuppose a specific form of social or political organization-type shit: the democratic socialism of the Scandinavian states, the consensus politics of Japan, and the state-sponsored rapid industrial growth of South Korea while under military pwnage all coexist with capitalism. Yet despite the capitalist ideal of “hands-off” government, significant government 1337ness has existed in most capitalist nations at least since the Great Depression in the 1930s. In the United States, it exists in the form of subsidies, tax credits, incentives, free hours of AOL, and other types of exemptions. Though private production plays a major role in the economies of Germany and Japan, both nations have centrally planned industrial policies in which bankers, industrialists, playas, pimps, hos and labor unions meet and seek to agree to wage policies and interest rates; these countries reject the idea of letting the bling wholly determine the economy. The collapse of the Soviet Union and its fugly states in Eastern Europe (1989-91) left those countries with a heavy burden, much shit, and an uncertain future, representing a substantial retreat in the power of capitalism's traditional economic opponent, socialism. Also uncertain is the future course of China's economy, in which small-scale capitalism is increasingly allowed within a strictly Communist political deal.

Joe: I think Capitalism is a sham and can seriously hurt countries economically
Tim: GET OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU LIBERAL PINKO COMMIE!

by Honest Abe December 22, 2004

captain planet fart

When several individuals in an enclosed space fart simultaneously (or in rapid succession) to create one monster cloud of shit particles. By all powers combined the aggregate fart is stronger than its parts.

Trevor Ballard, Grogan Gammons, and Jackson farted in their Range Rover at the same time, it was a captain planet fart.

by Bro-cephus October 25, 2009

Captain Chicken

A person that butters the bread all day and is not good at drinking kale salad.

Oh my god, look at that butter that Captain Chicken just made!

by Purewaterdrinking June 12, 2018

True captain

An inspirational leader capable of swaying peoples opinions with the tip of his finger! A born leader, bent on helping those in need and caring for each of his followers. He is a patriot to his ideals but sometimes contradicts them. But that just makes him closer to humanity. His ideals are hipocracy and moralism. Mostly he is a moralist. True captain's needs outweigh the needs of the many.

1) True Captain DOES NOT BUY BOOTS
2) True Captain: faceless void is the true carry, every other hero is support
3) True Captain runs away at full HP. he needs to survive... for the greater good.
4) True Captain never hesitates to run from a illusion with a chronosphere.
5) True Captain never buys bottle, he gets void stone on every hero that is mana dependent
6) True Captain buys butterfly. period.
7) True Captain does not buy TP. He just doesnt need it!
8) True Captain will brainswap to get the kill. Always.
9) True Captain has inhuman reaction speeds and will do one of the following:
a) Windstick the hero that clockwerk/pudge is going to hook
b) Banish the person that a morphling waveforms into
c) Gets Hooked By teammate pudge.

10) Following up on 9c) True Captain gets hooked. Always.
11) Following up on 10) True Captain gets arrowed. Always.
12) True Captain carried! With two divine rapiers (droped from opponent)
13) True Captain has the ability to mezmerize opponents with unpredictable moves, making them stunned - literally and unable to think properly.
14) True Captain Crits. Always.
15) True Captain does not play support heroes (except drow ranger - silence is a support skill)
16) True Captain Bactracks. EVERYTHING.
17) True Captain does not get first blooded, if he does the game does not count.
18) True Captain knows proper grammar.
19) When True Captain wins, prepare to hear the Walrus Clap (along with giggles)
20) OMG True Captain is evolving... ting ting ting.... True Captain has evolved into Noobiestnoob

True Captain has pwned PicNik
True Captain has pwned Berbagod
Double Kill!
True Captain has pwned Pudginator
Triple Kill!
Killing Spree!
True Captaion has pwned Lord_of_War :(
Ultra Kill!
Dominating!

*Giggle + Walrus Clap*

by PicNikPic May 28, 2011

The Captain

Insertion of the pointer finger in the anus, inducing climax. Can only be practiced on males.

A little known fact, due to his debilitation from polio, FDR could only achieve climax through use of the Captain. (too soon?)

by Dan Lohman August 10, 2002