Jesus Freaky

When born-again Christians exhibit unusually depraved sexual behavior stemming from their sexual repression.

Rick is all straight laced and likes sports and all that but behind closed doors, he loves getting pegged because he's Jesus Freaky.

by Kung Fu Jimmy December 7, 2023

Jesusist

A person who worships Jesus Christ and follows His teachings instead of following human-made religion created around His name.

They find the mainstream religion called Christianity to be contrary to the spirit and teachings of Jesus Christ, and so, to make it unambiguously clear what system of views and values they hold, they have chosen to call themselves Jesusists.

by Christszweig December 7, 2023

Jesus loves you

Manipulation. A simple way to push your religion on people who don’t give a flying fuck about your book club.

*someone chilling and being themselves (typically people who are lgbtq)*
“Jesus loves you”

by Awe.skeetskeeg February 11, 2024

Jesus cable

A type of cable that will send you or anyone who uses it to the afterlife (or to see Jesus)

Tech A:"Don't use that cable"
Normie:"Why"
Tech B:"It's a Jesus cable, and it'll kill you"

by afuckingtech February 11, 2024

Jesus Christ

The 2nd person in the trinity.

Jesus Christ: Jesus Christ is the son of God the Father. and he is also called the angel of YHWH in the Old Testament of the Bible. He came down to earth over 2000 years ago and he lived a sinless life and died for our sins. He was the ultimate sacrifice since he was God in the flesh, so his death meant that everybody's sins past present, and future were paid for. The only problem is, people actually have to accept his gift of salvation in order to receive it. You can choose to reject this gift.

by KekolordChri February 14, 2024

Jesus Christ

A man who loved you so much that he died for you. The man you were designed to love from the beginning. He is your missing piece and the only thing that can make you feel whole again! He created an entire universe to show you how special you truly are, and even allowed you to follow him into heaven despite how horrible all of man kind treats him. Constantly using his name in vein, cursing people out, murdering without reason, lying(includes not telling the whole truth), stealing, and many more things that we don't even know are wrong. But that's why Jesus died! So that we can accept the gift he offers us (eternity with him) so that we can feel his awesome love! You may think I'm wrong and want to disprove me, and you might think you have though you haven't! Because his existence is a proven fact along with his resurrection, his love, and us being his creation.

You may have questions like "well why hasn't he came to earth"
He did and we killed him.
Or maybe you're wondering "then who created God?"
You think something without a beginning needs a beginning, but scientists say that the universe didn't begin at a point in time either. It just "was". God just "was" as well. Except he wasn't suddenly just "was" he was always "was". Believing the universe came from a spec of nothing is probably worse than believing in the existence of God when you look at everything these scientists really say.

Person: Jesus Christ died for you!

by #Faithinhim February 26, 2024

Jesus Godamn Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Motherfucker!

When a person, usually in response to pain, emotional or physical, begins a crazed angry yelling to vent their frustration, often going down the list of the curse words they know.

I stubbed my toe
"Jesus Godamn Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Motherfucker!" I yelled

by Leonidas of Alexandria March 5, 2024