Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.
SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.
SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.
by Catamount June 21, 2008
Get the SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi mug.Committed slam is a fuck buddy that only fucks you and buys you chipotle (and let's you get guac). Committed slams are not allowed to contact eachother before 7 pm. Communication is trickly fuck-based
by CommittedSlam October 28, 2015
Get the committed slam mug.When you've been in a committed relationship for 10+ years and you'd rather get off to reruns of softcore HBO/Cinemax/Showtime pornos than have sex with your significant other.
(Wife walks into the living room wearing an "I heart ellen" t-shirt, sweatpants, and crocs)
Wife: Hey, honey. Wanna Netflix and Chill tonight? *wink*
Husband: Ugh
(Husband places his left hand down his pants and his right hand on the U-verse remote)
Husband: Looks like it's a Cable and Commitment night
Wife: Hey, honey. Wanna Netflix and Chill tonight? *wink*
Husband: Ugh
(Husband places his left hand down his pants and his right hand on the U-verse remote)
Husband: Looks like it's a Cable and Commitment night
by Andy Fong Chong March 21, 2016
Get the Cable and Commitment mug.Committing suicide because you are an attention whore and nobody gives you attention so you are depressed.
You: i'm so depressed nobody likes my postcards collection i worked so hard on
Somebody: Go commit Blob
Somebody: Go commit Blob
by WH1T3_No1SE March 25, 2019
Get the Go commit Blob mug.Like commit die, but used to bypass even roblox filters
When u commit scooter ankle you instantly commited the crime of death
When u commit scooter ankle you instantly commited the crime of death
by Player2170(roblox arsenal guy) December 1, 2019
Get the Commit death mug.For when your D&D party doesn't want to deal with the DM's bullshit, and just burns down the building/church/tower that contains the encounter that they had worked for weeks on.
"You see several Mind Flayers through the open doors of the church. Will you go inside to confront them and save the town?"
"We're going to burn it down."
"What?"
"We're going to Commit Tentacle Church on it."
"We're going to burn it down."
"What?"
"We're going to Commit Tentacle Church on it."
by Marven Songsteel December 2, 2019
Get the Commit Tentacle Church mug.Did you hear about Ginger? Turns out she pulled a Commit Dead Baby. I guess she shouldn’t have taken all that birth control.
by BenDober September 4, 2019
Get the Commit Dead Baby mug.