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That's what I told my first wife.

Much like the popular phrase "that's what she said", "that's what I told my first wife" can apply to male only references. The first known use was by Michael Thor Lengies Sept. 2012.
Perfect set ups:
"It's doesn't get any harder than this." "That's what I told my first wife."

Sarcastic:
"I always wear condoms." "That's what I told my first wife."

Out of no where:
"I've got a date at 9:00." "That's what I told my first wife."

Self degrading humor:
"I'm just not a one woman man." "Yeah, that's what I told my first wife."

Thats what he said, Thats what she said, Inuendo, Sexual,
by JoeliusC September 28, 2012
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The First Law of Conversation

The First Law of Conversation (abbr. FLOC) states that one will always tune into a conversation at the most awkward point. Many linguists believe that this is God's punishment for eavesdropping.
"...And, on top of that, I had to go take my wang out of the tub drain!"
"What are you guys talking about?!"
"Oh, you just proved the First Law of Conversation, bitch!"
by Sven-Detlev October 30, 2009
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never hinged in the first place

You can't say someone is unhinged if they were never hinged in the first place.
You can't say someone is unhinged if they were never hinged in the first place.
by NeologianPJG July 18, 2018
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the first

the first evil; the root of everything that is bad.
The power of good will triump over the first.
by BowTieGirl June 14, 2003
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Pope Mardio The First

The greatest pope in history of the Meme Catholic Church, with his top Cardinal, Cardinal Dickins Taylor. Both of them side by side selling Indulgences taking down Sartaj The Ungreat
Woah is that Pope Mardio The First, wait did he just excommunicate Sartaj.

We are under the ruling of Pope Mardio The First
by xSiege_T4yLorDxx _the_great_xX December 2, 2021
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davey-jad jamaica, jamiel aidEn cinder-tubby-maid-lope dAviS hot-cold pocket, jamer jamerson coopycooper the sohan stan,cinderella,ed sheeran ripoff , telEtUBbiE, WaSte of OxEGyn , the sofia the first judd

- a very short nickname to call your friend named james
wow did you see davey-jad jamaica, jamiel aidEn cinder-tubby-maid-lope dAviS hot-cold pocket, jamer jamerson coopycooper the sohan stan,cinderella,ed sheeran ripoff , telEtUBbiE, WaSte of OxEGyn , the sofia the first judd he robbed a bank yesterday
by jamersonfanaccount December 17, 2020
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The First Day of School

A day that symbolizes the upcoming 9 months of woe and endless toil that is school
I still think that it sucks more balls than Britney Spears, Ja Rule, and Marey Carey put together
by Evil Tim August 27, 2003
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