SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.

I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

by Catamount June 21, 2008

yeetus yeetus commit self deletus

to commit suicide

he commited yeetus yeetus commit self deletus

by hi352 May 26, 2022

Committing a Cameron

Verb

To throw something of value out of the window of a moving vehicle.

Y/N: *throws phone out of a bus*
Friend: wow, committing a cameron? imagine that.

by WaffleLove October 12, 2023

Commitment Chicken

You know the cat and mouse game of people trying to decide on when and where to meet, yet wont make any commitments to specifics unless you throw out a time. Yet you know if you do they're going to just say they aren't available but maybe later.

Rhymes with Adam: Is anyone planning on being around tomorrow?
Dr. Orpheus: let's say yes. if there's not normal activity i can come in. was planning to at some point
Smartass Bear: What time of day are we talking about?
Rhymes with Adam: What time are you available?
Smartass Bear: Magic 8 ball says I'm not waking up before noon. So 4pm and on maybe.

....crickets

So that's what Commitment Chicken is...

by Smartass Bear May 1, 2020

commit lithuania

Term that relates to self harm, replacement for "commit suicide".

This will make you sound like a complete retard if used frequently, so I'd recommend using kys instead.

(Friend:) Math class ain't that bad
(You:) shut your gay ass up and go commit lithuania
(Low Tier God:) You should kys NOW

by nevets_ January 19, 2024

Commit

I don't need to commit to women. You don't have the right to try and clamp down on my life to make a point about how men should have to commit to women. The fat cocks AREN'T committing to women and other men are raising their kids and feeding them with their taxes. You are fucking garbage and your slut daughter got her pussy-hole stretched by every fat-cock she interacted with and now you're trying to take it out on me.

Hym "Yeah, no, you aren't going to use me to make a point about how men need to commit to women. You'll pay for everything you used and if you don't you kids will die for it. You tried to cock block someone using his parent's emotional abuse. He threatened your kids over it. You used the threat as post hoc justification. I spoke out about it in a way you didn't like. You're trying to force me into compliance and make an example out of me. I won't allow it. I can and will guarantee that you some of your kids will die for it."

by Hym Iam April 4, 2024

Commit Shaming

Commit Shaming is when a person called Marcel, shames a person called Tim, because the size and amount of commits do not match the work done.

Marcel: Why the fuck did you commit only the title??
Tim: I thought we had to commit more?
Marcel: Yes but not stupid commits like this!!

Marcel has used Commit Shaming, which was very effective.

by TimAtOak July 6, 2021