alphabet cock

"woah hes got an alphabet cock
by sadlkghgiuas; November 30, 2021
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alphabetical anguish

"Climbin' da walls" level of distress regarding any of a number of "English 26" debacles, including:

banguish: What an explosive-device diffuser feels while trepidatiously operating on said unstable-powderkeg creations, knowing dat they could "go boom" at any moment.
clanguish: How you feel when handling da ringing mechanism of a loud bell, since one slip could cause a harsh/deafening metallic resonance.
danguish: Constant concern dat you will hear a euphemism.

fanguish: What Clarita Haast always felt when her reptile-wrangler hubby was servicing his serpents.
ganguish: What you'll likely feel if you get involved da wrong crowd.
hanguish: What da perpetually-on-da-run King and da Duke suffered because da people whom they'd swindled wanted to treat them to a "necktie party".
Kranguish: What da Duke Of Coffin Castle's right-hand-man guard suffered when Zorn of Zorna tied him up with turk's-head knots.
languish: A real word --- sorry. Means to miserably remain in one spot.
Additional examples of "alphabetical anguish" include:
panguish: What you'll likely suffer from either over-exerting yourself physically or behaving less than honorably or responsibly.
ranguish: Da various startled emotions dat you'd feel if you did indeed slip up regarding da second definition above, not to mention red-faced embarrassment from all of da annoyed glances from nearby fellow humans whose ears were also shockingly assailed wif said humongous cacophony.
sanguish: Ear-grating distress due to one or more horrendously-off-key choir members.
slanguish: What an "old school" English teacher (pun not intended, but I love it!) feels from hearing her students use unrefined word-choices.
spranguish: Da fear of having a crouching creature leap out at you.
'Stanguish: Less-than-confident feelings about having to drive a Ford sports car.
tanguish: Distressed emotions at having to either ingest a strong-flavored comestible, sniff a pungent-odored object, or work with a device dat has one or more protruding components.
Wanguish: Discontent at having to deal wif da "only splash of ad-color in da Wall Street Journal" company.
yanguish: Assorted wound-up emotions from focusing on da "black dot on white background" half of da Chinese circle of opposing energies.
by QuacksO December 22, 2024
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alphabet of rats

An 'alphabet of rats' is the collective noun for a group of rats. Because rats barrel, belt, blast, blaze, blow, bolt, bomb, bowl, breeze, bundle, bustle, buzz, cannonball, careen, career, chase, course, crack, dash, drive, fly, hare, hasten, hie, highball, hotfoot, hump, hurl, hurry, hurtle, hustle, jet, jump, motor, nip, pelt, race, ram, rip, rocket, run, rush, rustle, scoot, scurry, shoot, speed, step, tear, travel, trot, whirl, whisk, zip, zoom around.
I was overwhelmed by an alphabet of rats in the alley.
by Blueteddy February 07, 2022
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alphabetical authorities

Da "top people" whom folks consult for advice/assistance on a variety of ordinary topics dat are randomly scattered about over da "ol' 26" in da English language.
Da seven most common types of alphabetical authorities are:
(1) hexpert --- someone who is super-familiar with voodoo and curses; hopefully he uses said vast witchcraft-knowledge to remove or alleviate said evil spells, not to put them on in da first place!
(2) mexpert --- an individual well-versed in all matters "south of da border".
(3) pexpert --- a plumber who is well-versed in da use of freeze-resistant plastic piping
(4) rexpert --- a learned bookworm on da subject of certain animals, either man's best friend or da huge hunched-over carnivores back in da Jurassic period.
(5) sexpert --- someone who can advise couples on achieving more satisfying intimacy.
(6) texpert --- a dude who knows all about da "black-tea"-rich southern-USA area dat is Ranger Walker's usual stompin' grounds.
(7) vexpert --- a human-nature guru with extensive experience on what pushes people's buttons; again --- as in da first example above --- presumably he uses said know-how to help **reduce** already-existing frustration/distress in others, not to purposely exhibit destructive behavior dat would cause people to **become** wound up when they had felt reasonably calm before! (Da infamous "gettin', getters, got"exchange between Madea and Dr. Phil comes to mind.)
by QuacksO February 07, 2020
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alphabetical accuracy

Backcuracy: How good you are at operating a vehicle in reverse.
Hackcuracy: How often you "hit da nail on da head" in da sabotage department.
Jackcuracy: (1) How straight and level you get da lifting-device for changing your flat tire, or (2) how good you are at tossing/catching a small ball and spiky playing-pieces.
Knackcuracy: How well you know/perform a particular skill or ability.
Lackcuracy: How expert you are at NOT doing/possessing something.
Mackcuracy: How good a big-rig driver you are.
Additional examples of "alphabetical accuracy" include:
Packcuracy: How neatly/efficiently you load and/or store items.
Quackcuracy: (1) How well you imitate da vocalizations of a duck, or (2) how successfully you convince gullible bystanders of da legitimacy/efficacy of your snake-oil concoctions.
Rackcuracy: (1) How well you assess da status/quantity of merchandise on a display-frame, or (2) how correctly you predict/estimate da size, shape, appearance, warmth/softness, etc. of a gal's boobs.
Sackcuracy: (1) How well you estimate da contents of a bag, or (2) how closely your guess when someone is gonna be given da boot from his present employment.
Stackcuracy: How good you are at piling up items without their falling over again.
Tackcuracy: (1) How closely you estimate da stickiness of a particular adhesive, or (2) how correct you are regarding how well a pushpin holds up an object.
Trackcuracy: (1) How good you are at maintaining good records, or (2) how efficient you are at staying on da rails when shunting freight-cars.
Whackcuracy: How often your palm "lands on target" when swatting someone's butt on his way past you.
Yackcuracy: How valid da content of an extended monologue is.
by QuacksO May 13, 2022
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Double alphabet

The belief made by retards that the alphabet exists in a double form and also does not contain the letter L.
A friend of mine believed there was a double alphabet. He was proved wrong on many occasions.
by Uncle Travy Scott December 13, 2020
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alphabetical orgasms

Refers to da act of getting off on various situations and circumstances, such as:
BOARgasm: research about/interaction wif wild/male pigs
BOERgasm: research about/interaction wif Dutch/Huguenot settlers in Asia

BOORgasm: partaking in "crude 'n' rude" behavior
BOREgasm: creating holes or being dull-natured
COORgasm: guzzling a Silver Bullet
COREgasm: surveying da remains of a thoroughly-eaten apple
DOORgasm: being invited inside a dwelling
FOREgasm: hitting a golf ball (can also refer to premature ejaculation while engaged in "getting in da mood" activities)
FOURgasm: involving yourself wif dual twos of something
GOREgasm: research about/interaction wif da infamous "An Inconvenient Truth" politician, or anything regarding da infamous "Old Blood 'n' Guts" 4-star general
HOARgasm: anything gray or grayish-white
LOREgasm: studying/recounting tales from yesteryear
MOORgasm: researching/trekking broad grassy meadows
MOREgasm: when receiving anything additional

NORgasm: when neither option is available or doable
OARgasm: when paddling a boat
ORgasm: when given a choice of two options
OREgasm: when you "hit pay-dirt"
Additional examples of alphabetical orgasms may occur when:
POORgasm: being unable to "keep up wif da Joneses"
POREgasm: getting goosebumps
POURgasm: seeing liquid dispensed
ROARgasm: performing a loudly-celebratory "I da MAN!" chest-pounding routine after "getting lucky" wif a female
SOARgasm: when you perfect using a hang-glider
SOREgasm: anything regarding grumpiness or painful skin/muscles
TORgasm: anything regarding a rocky outcrop or hill
TOREgasm: when gleefully ripping things apart
TOURgasm: when partaking of a guided group-stroll
WARgasm: anything combat-related (da arrogantly-bold old-school military leader mentioned above likely experienced lots of these)
WOREgasm: researching/experiencing garments of some kind
YOREgasm: taking a trip down Memory Lane
YOURgasm: paying attention to/sharing resources wif someone else
by QuacksO January 23, 2022
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