Wooden Spoon

A wooden spoon is a spoon that is used for stirring sauces and for mixing ingredients in cooking. It is made of wood and has a long handle. Not to be used to beat your children.

Person A: Man, my mom made some killer soup last night with a Wooden Spoon, and later used it to beat the shit out of me.
Person B: …That’s rough buddy.

by hydrateordiestraight January 2, 2022

Wooden Spoon Speed

Wooden Spoon Speed is the speed at which a child runs at while being persued by said childs enraged parent.

any person can run at wooden spoon speed.

after lil jonny broke the window, he ran at wooden spoon speed to hide under his bed.

by JehovahsWittnessProtectionUnit April 12, 2010

wooden stake

Used to kill vampires. Has to be struck into the heart.

Watch any vampire film.

by Matty D July 1, 2004

Wooden Leg Syndrome

Inability to gauge the onset of intoxication until the commencement of blackout. Typically, individuals focus on the future drink and hurry through the drink in hand in order to enjoy the next.

"Did you see Ryan last night? His Wooden Leg Syndrome was out in full force. He must have topped off right before the face plant/bloody mess."

by thetruthhurts.com November 27, 2009

Wooden Wonder

Nickname given to the deHavilland Mosquito, a British Fighter-Bomber used during World War Two. This aircraft was known for its lightweight all-wood construction, its speed and its ability to take damage.

"Oi, The Wooden Wonder t'wernt a better attack plane in the King's Air force and dat's a fact."

by JonathanChance September 30, 2003

wooden slab

Very uncommon hood slang. Used in place of "nigga" or "nigger". Is used as an insult and racist term against black people. Usually use it when describing a "rotten or dirty nigger"

This originated from a "spruce plank" "spruce slab" like from Minecraft, but it is most commonly used in the West as just wooden slab.

P1: Did you hear about that black guy that just robbed the bank?
P2: Those wooden slabs!

by YawnDerscore September 28, 2017

Wooden Driver

A specialist antique driver used by world class golfers. Specifically designed to send an agonising recoil up through your hands when contact is made with the ball (which isn't very often due to the ergonomic putter head) Recommended for ranges of 150 Yards and under. Great for pee rollers and low drives.

John "Are you jealous of my wooden driver?"
Andrew "Yes..." (He replies with a sad face knowing all the bank in the world will not acquire him such a weapon)

by Shanelovdahoop15 April 5, 2017