negative utilitarianism

The school of thought that states that suffering must be eradicated at all costs. The ultimate aim therefore of negative utilitarianism is to destroy all life. This aim is often termed global suicide.
Many philosophers reject negative utilitarianism as being a terrible moral system because it asks for the destruction of life, which is normally considered very painful to all involved.
However, achieving NU'ism goal will have no adverse effects because there will be no one around to observe them and decided that they are bad effects.

I believe in the values of negative utilitarianism. If you want to know why I haven't killed myself yet; ask a chain smoker why he hasn't stopped smoking even though it is ruining him and he wants to quit.

Addiction is hard to break...

by Humankind May 26, 2005

Utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence

Using big words to sound smart.

Someone may use this to express how smart they are to a colleague, friend, girlfriend, boyfriend or even your boss.

Jack: Utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
Boss: What?
Jack: Oh, I'm just using big words to sound smart.
Boss: OK.

by The Evit One October 28, 2010

utility-kinkster

One whose sexual discourse is determined by external forces and/or available resource.

Do to freezing temperatures the utility-kinksters were forced to grind on each other in an exotic dance of passion and life saving heat transfer.

by Dr.Skaz September 3, 2013

utilityologist

A person who does a forensic audit of a business' last 5 years of utility bills at no cost to them.

Rick, the Utilityologist just got me thousands of dollars back from the Utility company

by PJ LeTip July 4, 2018

utilitous

adj.

useful for intended purpose; the property of having utility; functional.

Due to improvements in design, the prototype is now utilitous.

Johnny's new crutches are much more utilitous than the last.

The mule was very utilitous until his unfortunate demise.

by Chicken Pizza January 30, 2019

utiliffiti

Colorful, rune-like, hand-drawn markings that indicate the presence of current or future public utilities underneath on pavement or asphalt.

The utiliffiti spread out across the corner and intersection, portending water lines and electrical cables with an inadvertently artistic flair.

by fabralind January 25, 2022

utility cock

Much like a vibrator, a utility cock is someone's dick you use simply for pleasure. Kind of like a use it and lose it until you need it again kind of thing.

"Hey Jess, you seeing Marc again tonight?"

"Yeah, he's sort of like my utility cock if you will."

by BonerDonor December 4, 2009