Fecal Touch

Characteristic of a person who fucks up everything they get involved with. Often witnessed in the workplace with respect to projects that do not go well.

Boss to employee: I think Johnny has some capacity to assist with the Johnson Project.

Employee: No fucking way- that dude has the fecal touch. Everything he gets involved with turns into a piece of shit- he's a complete brokedick.

by Steelman7 July 10, 2010

Reverse Midas Touch

Talent for turning anything you touch to shit

Michael McG has the reverse Midas Touch! Any assignment that comes his way ends up as a pile of garbage.

by Sick up and Fed July 16, 2009

Cause you touch yourself at night...

Phrase used to answer a question involving 'why' or 'how'. Usually sounds perverted, such as the phrase 'Thats what she said'

"Daddy. Why are there no dinosaurs?"
"Cause you touch yourself at night..."

"How is this possible?!"
"Cause you touch yourself at night..."

by Mr. Frank the Urbanite February 21, 2009

can't touch this

MC Hammer had a hit with the name "U Can't Touch This." Generally means "I'm too good for you." or "You'll never be as good as I am."

Two people are dancing:
Person 1: Can't touch this!
Person 2: Darn. (walks off the dance floor)

by ilovealtoids November 7, 2004

Touch Willy

An Extreme Form of Brown Nosing

Bob's playing "Touch Willy" with the boss

by Bob Smith UK July 2, 2007

Touch Tone Telephone

one of the greatest song ever and may as well be a love song

"cause you're the only person in the world who understands"
you can't tell me Touch Tone Telephone isn't gay

by raybeez May 15, 2022

The Markle Touch

The exact opposite of the Midas touch.

Turning something good into absolute shit.

"Wow, she turned that prince into a frog. She's got the Markle touch."

by tressymlouise February 19, 2021