quagmire

That mysterious orange rash you get on your penis from spending all day eating Cheetos while looking at internet porn.

If you switch over to Funyuns, that quagmire will clear right up.

by Franzshizzle April 7, 2007

Quagmire

A sex-crazed character from the television program "Family Guy", first name Glen, enjoys sex, feet, and HIC-A-DOO-LA. Known for saying ALLLL-RIIGHT when horny or aroused in any way, shape or form

Yea, it looks something like that...(pointing at an nuclear warhead protruding down into his bedroom while attempting to seduce a woman)

by Pockets December 17, 2003

Quagmired

The act of sliding a credit card through a woman's buttocks or through a credit card machine.

The man on Family Guy had no money to give the stripper so he Quagmired and got slapped by her.

by bigweezey November 28, 2012

Swagmire

One who ruins the meaning of swag and gets made fun of for it. Swagmire

That guy has no swag. He's such a swagmire

by Jib December 17, 2016

quagmire syndrome

When you have hit the sexual limits of your imagination,budget, pain tolerance, flexibility, applicable laws, etc. to the point where you run out of ideas to keep things interesting.

Bro 1: my girl’s a total freak, it started with eating booty, and it just got out of hand! she always wants me to come up with new shit and I’m pretty sure there are no more kinky things left to try that don’t involve farm animals, a second mortgage, or prison time!
Bro 2: damn bro sounds like a case of quagmire syndrome, I’m sure you’ll get that squared away during a pornhub rabbit hole session.

by Testudo420 January 27, 2019

quagmire

A difficult or precarious position or situation; a predicament

yarrh is in a quagmire; he needs to make a new def cuz it's may 29 and has like 5 more mins till the 30th.

by yarrh June 1, 2006

Quagmire

The absolute funniest character on the tv show, "The Family Guy." He rocks the phrase ALLL-RIIIGHT. He's the sex crazed neighbor who says nothing but absolutely golden, one-liners.

Best Quagmire quote ever: He walks out of the bathroom in his robe and is looking at the girl in his bed with whom he just banged. She says, "glen honey, I have a question for you, what do you do for a living?" He says, "Hey I have a question for you too, whay are you still here?" HILARIOUS!

by The Sheen Man May 6, 2004