Morning Wood is when a guy gets a boner in the morning. ;) it happens because guys are horny phucks.
by phuckphuck September 22, 2010
by R G October 13, 2003
morning wood is often caused by the lack of realese from the male testicales because you cant masturbate in your sleep so you will wake up with a morning wood and stick in dans cats arse hole and plumet it into the propelar of a girafes snake then blast a moon shop while walking to the fish and accidentily stand on the eifil tower wich suddenly rams up your arse hole because it turns out the eiffil tower had morning wood as well so then it spun you around and you fly to tescos and get a meal deal because your very exaughsted from fucking dans cat
i woke up with a fat stiffy and got caught with it half way in dans cat wich fixed my morning wood then it poked back up and i realised i wasnt finished so i stuck it in dans fish for a final time and raped it in to a coma turns out i fucked its gills not its arse now i have meningitase
by runny one March 05, 2022
Morning wood is when u wake up in the morning to a dick longer than usual. But u don't always get it in the morning. u get it 3 - 5 times while u sleep. It's actually healthy if u get them bc it means u have moderate blood flow. if u got that big dick for hours and u haven't jerked off then u got problems and u gotta see a doc bout ur dick. Some techniques that are used to soften the wood are to flex ur thighs and ass cheeks, pee, drink less water before bed, stand up for two minutes, and getting that pickle under some cold water. u don't want to go to school/work without coffee bc u spilled it with ur wood.
Dad: holy shit! son! what did u watch last night!
Son: its nothing but my usual morning wood.
Dad: gtfo of bed son, I don't want ur sheets covered in cum.
Son: its nothing but my usual morning wood.
Dad: gtfo of bed son, I don't want ur sheets covered in cum.
by TheGuyYouGoToForThisKindaStuff December 06, 2017
Today i woke up for my morning date... but then i got morning wood...
I hope it goes away quickly before i meet here!
I hope it goes away quickly before i meet here!
by SushiTrash July 07, 2018
The erection that men will have in the morning, just after they wake up. It's the way a mans body says "Wake up, or I will annoy the shit out of you."
Person: "Well, you're awake early."
Man:"I had to wake up because my morning wood wouldn't let me go back to sleep.."
Man:"I had to wake up because my morning wood wouldn't let me go back to sleep.."
by IInSSyNc February 22, 2014