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Oklahoma Guarantee

A guarantee that isn't really a guarantee. Usually consists of "I'll be damned if it doesn't work," "if it breaks, you can call me a son of a bitch," and "if it breaks in two, you can keep both the pieces!"

Comes from the days when unscrupulous Oklahoma used car dealerships would give unscrupulous warranties that were worth the paper they were printed on. These were the days before lemon laws.

The term has been popular in Texas and Oklahoma, but has some limited nationwide use.
Products made in China come with the Oklahoma Guarantee.
by therealelizacat December 14, 2013
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guaranteed

A term incredibly overused in advertising.
"OMFG!!! SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!!!!!!1!1!11111!!one"
by idonthavaname October 5, 2006
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guaranteej

A girl who is guaranteed to blow you with little to no work.
I thought she was a guaranteej, but I ended up having to pay for it.
by teej_mester January 21, 2011
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Donkey Dick Guarantee

A guarantee so outrageous that it makes you think of a Donkey Dick.
That's a "Donkey Dick Guarantee" from you to me!
by FistFire July 12, 2007
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Saftey Not Guaranteed

An add to travel back in time pasted together with a school picture of a guy with strange hair called Captian J picard. The add reads: "WANTED: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. P.O. Box ____, Oakview, CA 93022. You'll get paid when we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Saftey not guaranteed I have only done this once before."
"WANTED: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. P.O. Box ____, Oakview, CA 93022. You'll get paid when we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Saftey not guaranteed I have only done this once before."
by saftey not guaranteed August 15, 2006
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gudmarani

Same as Chutmarani.
She who is infamous of being fucked by different men irrespective of caste or creed
Chup jar sala gudmaranir beta!!
by Nicky S May 3, 2005
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guarana

Guarana is the most potent form of caffeine in the known universe. It actually contains guaranine, which is a form of caffeine. Guaranine is slow acting, but is more potent and more powerful. It is used in many energy drinks, such as the greatest,
Bawls

Guarana was used by Natives as a daily drink, which was made by grouding seeds and mixing it with water.
Guarana claims to be useful to enhance brain function. It is used with heavy exercise routines, to stay awake, and as a stimulant for physical and intellectual stress.
IT IS ALSO RUMORED TO BE AN APHRODISIAC.
Guarana is hard to find other than in pills (energy/weighloss) or in energy drinks.
The bottle of bawls did more to keep me awake than coffee.
by Nemitor May 15, 2005
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