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Cynicism 

Cynicism; (noun); Derived from the Greek word for dog, it first described a current of Ancient Greek philosophy. The cynic ringleader Diogenes of Sinope was described as "Socrates gone mad". The cynics pursued The Good without minding any other values. This meant they could jerk of at dinner tables, shit in public and live in barrells. Diogenes was said to live '"like a dog", hence the name, cynicism.

Nowadays, cynicism means an attitude in life that is conscious about morally bad or evil acts, but makes a joke out of them or commits them anyway. The cynic is blasé, he thinks everything is stupid or redundant and tends to sigh a lot.

Cynicism is said to be linked to hypocrisy. The hypocrite wants to convince other people of the fact that he is doing the right thing, whereas he knows he is not. The cynic doesn't want to convince anybody. He is honest to the extreme. His friends tend to describe him as dark, evil, terribly offensive or hilariously funny.
Cynicism.

"Yesterday my aunt died. Well, at least we got free coffee."

"Global poverty is a real problem. Then again, so are pigeons."

"Women should have the right to vote for any man they want to surpress them."

"Yesterday my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. So I pushed her of the stairs. She fell down and bled all over the floor. Now I have to get a new rug. Fuck my life."
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cynicasm 

To make a statement that is both cynical and sarcastic.
Ed's status update is dripping with cynicasm.
cynicasm by Newt2012 May 6, 2009
Having the shape of a cone
The cookiecutter shark has a short conical snout.
conical by sharklady February 23, 2012
One who knows the truth about human nature and motives. May be labeled as distrustful or paranoid by naive people.
Someone who is butthurt doesn't qualify as cynical. Neither does someone who is jaded.
I never trust strangers I meet over the Internet with personal data, no matter how unimportant said data is, call me cynical.
Cynical by Neural Blade July 9, 2010
Your required outlook in order to post on Urban Dictionary.
I think the world is shit. That's cynical enough for urban dictionary isn't it?
Cynical by HomeParkHomer August 26, 2006

Cynically Optimistic 

When you believe all of humanity is driven by self-interest, but that humanity also has an innate desire to feel good about themselves, and that's a possibility for a person to act kindly. such as actively recycling out of a sense of legacy/guilt.
I could just be cynically optimistic right now, but I think that guy only helped that lady across the rode so he could feel morally superior .

cynical bastard 

A somewhat disgruntled individual working within a company. These individuals often quickly climb the internal ranks only to be frustrated at the view from above.